Note: These materials are copyrighted but permission is granted to make copies for use within your building only. The manuscript is presently with a publisher and the finished book (with several additions and changes) should be in your favorite bookstore sometime in 2010. Please see the additional note at the bottom of this page.

Many of the tools for success shared in this book are different and may be called “Secrets” because so few principals and teachers seem to be aware of them. They are to me, however, tried and proven winners in working with children in the public school system and should no longer be kept a secret. They all relate to the power of caring and of communicating that you care and will equip you with a great number of building wide projects and activities that promote good public relations and a positive school atmosphere! Character education is basic in most of these reports and they do not interfere with the concern for separation of church and state.

All Success Secrets evolved from my experience as an administrator and elementary principal for 23 years with Columbus Public Schools in Columbus, Ohio. They are written directly to and for principals but teachers will also find that most of these teaching tools can be adapted to individual classrooms and will really make a difference in the lives of boys and girls. Each item is brief and to the point and a significant part of each report includes suggestions and helps on how to use the information shared.

There are also many documents, forms, sample letters, etc. included in the book which you can adapt and use in your own building or classroom. You’re too busy to create new ones, use mine. I know you’re too busy because I’ve been where you are and I want to make it as easy and simple as possible for you to implement some of the success secrets shared in "The Power of Caring for Elementary Principals and Teachers." They definitely worked for me and I am very confident that they will work for you as well! --- Elmer Winner, Retired Elementary Principal


Here's the Complete List of Tools for Success. Please Scroll Down or Click to Open.

A BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS Chapter 1

OUR SCHOOL MOTTO, CREED, AND PLEDGE Chapter 2

SCRIPT FOR KIDS TO KIDS Chapter 3

POSITIVE PERSON MESSAGES Chapter 4

NEW STUDENT ORIENTATION Chapter 5

INTRODUCTION TO SELF-DISCIPLINE Chapter 6

SELF-CONTROL TECHNIQUES Chapter 7

A TOUGH LOVE APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE Chapter 8

HOW TO VIEW DIFFICULT CHILDREN Chapter 9

HOME-SCHOOL READING PROJECT Chapter 10

MENTORS FOR CHILDREN PROGRAM Chapter 11

HONOR ASSEMBLIES Chapter 12

AN OLD FASHIONED SPELLING BEE Chapter 13

A GOOD ENDING Chapter 14

DISCIPLINE FILING SYSTEM Chapter 15.

SUPPORTING DATA -- EVIDENCES OF SUCCESS Chapter 16

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS Chapter 17


A BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS

The first top secret of the book is for principals. You know the importance and power of getting your staff to work together as a team but how do you bring it about? The tools shared here helped me to get it all started and now I turn them over to you to use, to change, to adapt or whatever you want to do with them. It’s only a beginning but an important beginning and all the other tools for success in this book can fall into place when your staff really believes that teamwork is important to you and when they see you doing something to prove it. Our Blueprint for Success, Pyramid of Strength, Umbrella of Security, and the Big Picture all join into a brief statement of mission in a unique format that addresses what really needs to be done in order to build a successful school. It will help keep your staff on the right track and also help you gain the confidence of your school community. OUR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AT (NAME OF SCHOOL) It is our mission as educators to build into the lives of children those experiences and relationships that will help them gain the knowledge, skills, and attitudes necessary for future happiness and success. To achieve this important mission we commit ourselves to always strive to do the following: I. To really care for boys and girls and to communicate that caring in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true. II. To reach a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls. III. To experience a greater measure of fulfillment and satisfaction from our profession and our assignment at (name of school). A plan or a blueprint is important to a builder or an architect. A pattern is necessary for the dressmaker. Likewise, teachers and school administrators must have a practical and accurate guide to follow in the greatest enterprise of all--shaping the lives of boys and girls. We have many success stories at (name of school) which are attributed to a very dedicated and hard working staff and to the very solid support received from our school community. We are very fortunate to be part of an educational construction crew that is laying a good foundation and building for the future happiness and success of every child in our school. As we daily strive to follow our Blueprint For Success, who knows what we'll be able to accomplish together? Our signatures below signify our commitment to this challenging and very important task. Comments and suggestions on how use the Blueprint For Success: In a great measure this will depend upon your own particular situation and innovation. To get you started, I will merely share how this document was helpful in my administration. 1. First, it will be necessary to retype the documents inserting the name of your school. Also, you should make enough copies for all staff members. 2. There are four documents included in this report (Our Blueprint For Success, Our Pyramid of Strength, Our Umbrella of Security, and The Big Picture). These documents all say the same thing but in different ways. I recommend that you share only the Blueprint For Success at the beginning. Perhaps you should ask your staff to vote on accepting this document as the mission statement for your school or at least to agree on the premises of the document. Once this is accomplished, you will find it necessary to constantly review the three important goals in order to help your staff keep them in focus. That's where the other documents come in handy. You can keep emphasizing the goals but maintain variety in your approach. These additional documents can be used as hand-outs at staff meetings for discussion starters or in staff bulletins spread over the course of the school year. 3. If your staff votes to accept the Blueprint For Success as a mission statement for your school or if your staff agrees on the premises of the document, it may be helpful to request that each staff member sign the same copy of the document. This can be done as an expression of a commitment to work together toward accomplishing the goals of the document. It will not be necessary for the staff to sign the other documents which are for review purposes only. 4. Once your school staff has endorsed the Blueprint For Success, it becomes a good public relations tool to share with the school community by newsletter, in public meetings, etc. It also is a good idea to have this document framed and placed somewhere near the office for all visitors to see who enter the building. 5. I found it beneficial to try to relate everything we did in the building to one of our three goals. For example, all in-service training was based on goal number two, "To reach a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls." All attempts to seek input and staff involvement were based on goal number three, etc. This exercise helps emphasize the importance of the goals and helps everyone keep them in focus. How can the Blueprint For Success be of any help? It is so brief. I believe any statement of mission that is so long and cumbersome that it cannot be retained in the mind is of little value. The message must transfer from the written document into the minds of everyone on the staff and remain there if it is to become an effective guide. That's why it must be brief. In fact, quite often I begin a staff meeting by asking, "What are the three goal statements in our Blueprint For Success?" Of course, I recite the answers so as not to embarrass anyone but I then remind our staff that it's my job to make sure we believe in and know these goal statements almost as well as we know our own name and address. It is important to recognize, however, that the Blueprint For Success is only a foundation and a framework for an effective school program. The superstructure must be added. To illustrate you might share with your staff that a solid foundation and a sturdy framework are very important parts of a building but certainly do not provide adequate living quarters until the rest of the building has been added. What do you add? That will vary from building to building depending on the circumstances and people involved. Volumes could be written here, but I will share only a few examples that relate to each of the three goal statements in the Blueprint For Success. These will illustrate the value of focusing on the Blueprint for Success as a foundation and framework for all that we do in our schools. 1. How do you develop or add to the goal of really caring for boys and girls and communicating that you care in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true? First we tell them. Next, we tell them again. Then we keep telling them over and over and in as many ways as possible. If you hear the same thing long enough, after awhile, you'll begin to believe that it is true. It's really true that People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care but it's not enough to just say it. "Put your money where your mouth is," is an expression that fits here. We have a long list of things we're doing which prove we have a caring staff, and I'm sure that you have your list as well. The point is that we need to communicate to children and parents that we do these things because we care! 2. How do you work on the goal of reaching a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls? This goal emphasizes the importance of each staff member being responsible for his/her own growth and development. It gives reason and just cause for all in-service training of teachers. I once heard a consultant, Earnest A. Stachouski, share something in a lecture that really stayed with me. I believe he said that all the responsibilities of a classroom teacher fall into seven categories: knowledge of child growth and development, knowledge of content, knowledge and use of materials, human relation skills, planning skills, classroom management skills, and instructional skills. These are areas we continually need to work on as teachers and school administrators. It's quite an assignment, but as we work on it, our level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls will grow accordingly. 3. How do you develop the goal of experiencing a greater measure of fulfillment and satisfaction from your profession and school assignment? This is a very important concern. If teachers do not enjoy being teachers and working in a particular building, they certainly are not going to be at their best for boys and girls. Here are a few things I try to insist on as an administrator to help our total staff in this area. (1) Find ways to encourage ownership on the part of the total staff into the policies and programs of the school. I often make the statement, "This is not my school, but it's our school, and we all have input into the decisions that are made which effect us. We'll do anything you want to do as far as activities and programs for children are concerned as long as we are in strong agreement (2/3 majority) or I'll give you a good reason why we can't." (2) We vote on a lot of items that effect teachers. I'll share an idea and ask them to vote on it. Sometimes you'll be disappointed. I've had a lot of good ideas voted down, but have patience. You'll get another chance to try it later. (3) We have a lot of committee work. Everyone is on at least two committees. (4) We try to do some fun things together. It's important! (5) It helps to make a list of your success stories each year and to be proud of them together. This list should also be shared with the school community in newsletters, etc. The Importance of Focus As stated earlier, it is necessary to keep emphasizing the three main goals in your "Blueprint for Success" throughout the school year. These additional documents will help you maintain variety in your approach. They can be used as hand-outs at staff meetings for discussion starters or in staff bulletins spread over the course of the school year. OUR PYRAMID OF STRENGTH AT (NAME OF SCHOOL) I. To really care for boys and girls and to communicate that caring in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true. II. To reach a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls. III. To experience a greater measure of fulfillment and satisfaction from our profession and our assignment at (name of school). The great pyramids of Egypt have withstood centuries of battle with the varying elements of nature and time. For some mysterious reason they still stand as monuments symbolic of strength, testifying to the knowledge and skill of the original designers and builders. Some schools seem to crumble as castles in the sand when faced with the harsh realities of their mission. Others, like the great pyramids, stand tall and strong, and with the passing of time continue to make a great impression upon the children and parents they serve. There is no mystery, however, surrounding their differences. The strong survive because they are made out of the right material and are put together according to sound educational research, hard work, and good common sense. They care and communicate that they care. They are always striving to be at their best and to find better and more effective ways of fulfilling their responsibilities. Congratulations on being an important team member of a very strong staff that will become even stronger as we continue to take our stand and work together toward implementing the three goals in our Pyramid of Strength. OUR UMBRELLA OF SECURITY AT (NAME OF SCHOOL) I. To really care for boys and girls and to communicate that caring in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true. II. To reach a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls. III. To experience a greater measure of fulfillment and satisfaction from our profession and our assignment at (name of school). Some problems in our schools are like raindrops. They just keep falling on your head, on and on, without any sign of relief in sight. At times they are much more devastating than mere raindrops, often turning into furious storms of destruction. Everyone is talking about the lack of a good educational climate in our schools but no one seems to be able to do anything about it. Is there anything we can do at (name of school) to shelter ourselves from the raging elements of apathy, distrust, and criticism that disrupts the educational climate in so many schools? Yes, we are doing something! Together, we are striving to raise an umbrella of security over our school and over each classroom. This is better than doing nothing at all, and are we not finding that children and parents in large numbers are already responding to our efforts with a greater confidence, more enthusiasm, and better cooperation? The forecast for tomorrow, next month, and next year may not be sunny skies, but to know your job and do it well, has been and always will be, the best type of job security available, and the most rewarding. That's an umbrella that no wind can blow away! THE BIG PICTURE AT (NAME OR SCHOOL) I. To really care for boys and girls and to communicate that caring in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true. II. To reach a higher level of expertise in meeting the needs of boys and girls. III. To experience a greater measure of fulfillment and satisfaction from our profession and our assignment at (name of school). It's important that we keep looking at the big picture! Sometimes that's difficult to do. We're all very busy working in our own little corner and we just don't have the time for anything else. Put out the fires, deal with the emergencies, keep up with the reports, etc. is a pretty active corner to live in, and that's where most of us are as teachers and administrators. Since I've been looking at the big picture, however, some great things are beginning to happen. The more I focus on the big picture, the more I seem to accomplish in areas that really count and some of the fires have gone out on their own. Also, the foundation and framework of our three goals and related responsibilities have become a giant filing cabinet where I can file everything important that's related to my job. So now, rather than dealing with bits and pieces of information, everything seems to fall into place and is seen in its proper perspective. Finally, I feel much better about my job. I know where we are headed and recognize the great progress already made. Keep looking at the big picture! It really helps!

A SCHOOL MOTTO, CREED, AND PLEDGE

It’s a shame that the particular Motto, Creed, and pledged shared here has been kept a secret for all these years. I created it about forty years ago and found it to be a very helpful and powerful tool in so many ways but especially in the character develop of children. It will be difficult to find a better tool to guide and train children anywhere. It emphasizes caring for school, others, and self, and will promote good will and a good school spirit among children, staff, and parents. I believe it should be used in every classroom and every school in America, and beyond! Our School Motto: At (name of school) every child is important. We care about kids! Our School Creed: We believe: You should care about your school, You should care about others, You should care about yourself. It's the right thing to do! Our School Pledge: Because I care about (name of school): I will obey my teachers, I will keep the school rules, I will help my school be at its best. Because I care about others: I will set a good example, I will be nice to everyone, I will help those who need me. Because I care about myself: I will do my best work in school, I will stay out of trouble, I will try again when I make a mistake. Why is this particular motto, creed, and pledge so important? It is important because it is a very effective tool in teaching and communicating the concept of caring to children. I believe the concept of caring is very crucial in the formation of a healthy self-concept in children. You will note that the motto, creed, and pledge maintains an important balance between caring for self and caring for others. If this balance is not maintained, the result will be a very unpleasant and negative person. One of the greatest helps to self-esteem for anyone is to learn to really care and do something worthwhile for others. Do you agree that this is true? I have used this particular school motto for many years, and in many schools, as a very effective tool in communicating to children, parents and the community that we care. At the beginning of the year, the motto “At (Name of School) Every Child is Important. We Care About Kids!” is displayed on a large bulletin board by the office. It is printed at the bottom of practically every newsletter throughout the school year. As a spin off activity, a poster is placed on the door of every classroom with the following words and signed by the teacher; "In this classroom every child is important. I care about kids!" One way to communicate that we care is to keep saying it over and over and the school motto is a good tool to use in doing this. Of course, in addition to saying that we care, we also must show that we care in as many ways as possible, for the words are empty and meaningless without the substance. We care! Our motto says it and we show it. Now, please don't miss this important connection. Because we care and communicate it in such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true, it therefore follows that it is our expectation that our children care also. They need help and guidance, however, in learning how to say that they care and how to show that they care. The School Creed is one tool that can be used to help children say with words that they care. It is a very short affirmation and therefore easy to learn. The School Pledge is necessarily much longer because it is definitive of behavior that is necessary on the part of children in order to prove and show that they really care. How do you teach the motto, creed, and pledge? This tool should be given high priority and practically lived with during the first couple months of the school year. Here is a list of recommended activities. You will think of others. 1. Ask teachers to begin the first day of school and every day for the first couple months, by having children recite the motto, creed, and pledge during opening exercises. The entire class should repeat after the teacher, using short phrases at first, but within a few weeks they will be able to recite along with the teacher. After about two months of intensive training, the motto, creed, and pledge should then be recited at least once every two weeks for review. 2. Here's a key activity. Offer a prize to any child in the school who will memorize and recite the motto, creed, and pledge to the school principal. I have had great success with this activity every year with a large majority of children participating. I'm sure you will agree that there are many spin off benefits that occur when a principal makes this brief but positive contact with a large number of pupils. Any prize will work. Most of the time I gave ten tootsie rolls as a prize, but what about a neat positive message pen imprinted with the message, "At (name of school) Every Child Is Important. We care About Kids!" The Principal's name and school phone should also be part of the inscription. 3. Early in the year, children should write the motto, creed, and pledge. Younger children can write portions of it. Writing is a good tool to aid retention. Of course, this should be done in ways that are meaningful to children. Writing letters is one example. "Dear Parents: This is our School Motto. At (name of school) every child is important. We care about kids! Love, John." Older children can write the entire motto, creed, and pledge in a letter to parents, to grandparents, to a newspaper editor, to city and government officials, etc. 4. Encourage those who are first to memorize the motto, creed, and pledge to coach others until they memorize it also. I have observed many children doing this on their own time during recess, etc. 5. It is important for teachers to take a little time each day to discuss the meaning of each of the parts of the motto, creed, and pledge, and ask questions that will cause children to think about the concepts involved. I have often been surprised by how difficult it is for some children to answer a simple question like, "What does our school pledge mean when it says, "I will set a good example?" The script for Kids to Kids in chapter 3 will be helpful in starting classroom discussions on the importance and understanding of the Motto, Creed, and Pledge. 6. Find as many ways as possible to illustrate the meaning of the caring concepts in the motto, creed, and pledge: pictures, examples from your own life, behaviors you have observed in others, current events, etc. 7. Always try to recognize those children who are modeling the descriptive behaviors in the school pledge. This reinforcement is important but make sure it is done in ways that will encourage and not embarrass the child. Some need public praise; some need private praise, etc. 8. Select individual children to recite the motto, creed, and pledge to any visitor or volunteer who comes into your building. This makes a very positive impression upon visitors and also creates a feeling of pride among children and staff. Why do so many children who learn to say the motto, creed, and pledge fail to do what it says? This could be one of your first observations and perhaps your first question after you initiate this program. In fact, I believe I have observed that some children, who are among the first to memorize it and pick up their prize, are among the last to learn to model the behaviors described. Try hard not to be discouraged at this point. In time, they will learn to do what it says. It just takes longer for children to learn to do what it says than it does to learn to say it, and for some children it takes quite a while. Why? You will recognize I am sure that it has something to do with the three primary levels of learning. The first level is the knowledge level. This level of learning has been reached when a child is able to repeat back a bit of information in the same form in which it was received, like quoting the motto, creed, and pledge. This is a necessary first step, but it is important to also help children reach the second level, which is called the understanding level of learning. At this level children are able to share information they have learned in their own words showing that they understand the concepts learned. This is why it is important to discuss the meaning of the motto, creed, and pledge, using questions, illustrations, etc. The understanding level is also a necessary step in the learning process, but our primary goal is to help every child reach the third level of learning which is the application level. Be patient, it's just a harder of level of learning for all of us to achieve and therefore takes much longer. Also, consider this important insight regarding the behavior of many children. Those children who do not have a healthy self-concept will have a very difficult time reaching the application level of learning with the important caring concepts and social skills included in the motto, creed, and pledge. Why? Perhaps it is because they are compelled to act out in their behavior what they see themselves to be as a person. It seems that children act out a particular pattern of behavior based on their own image of themselves which is engraved both in the conscious and subconscious mind, and because the subconscious mind is involved, much of that behavior is acted out automatically without even thinking about it. Have you ever rewarded or praised children for doing some good deed and then observed them to immediately go off and do something terrible? It's hard to understand, isn't it? It's hard to understand, unless we recognize that there seems to be a compulsion within the child that forces him to act out what he really believes himself to be. The process that takes place in either the conscious or subconscious mind is perhaps something like this, "Doing a good deed and being rewarded for it, no, that's not like you. Do something quick to prove what you really are." That compulsion within the child has been likened to the thermostat on the wall, which keeps the room temperature constant in your home according to the setting. In order to change the temperature you must change the setting of the thermostat. And so it is with children; in order to change the behavior, we must first change or improve the self-concept. Again, please be patient. Never give up! It takes time and it takes consistency but a change will occur if you are determined to make it occur. Several of the other Success Secrets, especially the Positive Person Messages, are designed to improve the self-concept of children.

SCRIPT FOR KIDS TO KIDS

Two older children share with their younger peers why they like the school pledge and why it is important. Here's the script. Your children can make the audio recording. Note: This activity was created and this report written when tape recorders were the "In Thing." Perhaps you can use newer recording devices or simply use the script as a tool to help older children teach younger children the importance and value of your school motto, creed, and pledge. It can also be helpful as a classroom discussion starter for teachers who are trying to help children understand the meaning and value of the school pledge. Script for the Kids to Kids: First Speaker: Hello, my name is _____________________. Do you like to say our school motto, creed, and pledge? I do. I said them to our principal_____________ and won a prize! Right now, I'm going to say them for you. Our School Motto: Our School Creed: We believe: You should care about your school. You should care about others. You should care about yourself. It's the right thing to do! Our School Pledge: Because I care about (name of school): I will obey my teachers, I will keep the school rules, I will help my school be at its best. Because I care about others: I will set a good example, I will be nice to everyone, I will help those who need me. Because I care about myself: I will do my best work in school, I will stay out of trouble, I will try again when I make a mistake. Second Speaker: Hello, my name is ___________________. Did you know there are nine parts to our school pledge? Three parts tell what you will do because you care about (name of school). Here they are: Number 1. I will obey my teachers. This is the right thing to do! We obey our parents at home, and we should obey our teachers at school. It shows we are mature. That means we are growing up socially as well as physically. When we obey our parents and teachers, it shows something else too. It shows that we have respect for adults who have authority over us, and that's important! Number 2. I will keep the school rules. Rules are important! A lot of kids would get hurt without rules. And it would be hard for kids to learn without rules. Do you agree? Number 3. I will help my school be at its best. That's what all kids should do because (name of school) is a good school. It would be even better if everyone did his or her part. What about you? Will you do your part to help your school be at its best? I believe you will. First Speaker: Three parts of our school pledge tell what you will do because you care about others. Here they are: Number 1. I will set a good example. Did you know that if you do something wrong, someone else will do it wrong, too. And if you do something right, someone else will do it right, too? They will do what you do. If you always try doing things the right way, you are setting a good example. Number 2. I will be nice to everyone. Sometimes it's hard, but you should try to be nice to every person, even if they are not your friends. They are human beings too, and who knows, some day they might be your friends. Number 3. I will help those who need me. There is somebody in this world that needs me, and there is somebody in this world that needs you. Some of them might be right here in our school. I want to help them, don't you? Second Speaker: Three parts of our school pledge tell what you should do because you care about yourself. Here they are: Number 1. I will do my best work in school. When I play ball, I do my best to win. When I do school work I do my best to get it right. It helps me feel good about myself, and who wants to do messy work? Number 2. I will stay out of trouble. It's no fund to be in trouble. It hurts you more than anyone else. I have learned my lesson more than once. I hope it never happens to me again! Number 3. I will try again when I make a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes, but the biggest mistake you can make is to stop trying. Does a baby stop trying to walk, the first time he falls down? No! Did you stop trying to ride a bicycle, the first time you fell? No! It's the same way with your school work. If you keep trying, you are going to make it. It is only when you stop trying that you become a loser. First Speaker: Well, that's the nine parts to our school pledge. Remember that three parts tell what you will do because you care about your school. Three parts tell what you will do because you care about others. And three parts tell what you will do because you care about yourself. Now, (name of second speaker) and I are going to say our school motto, creed, and pledge one more time. We really like to say them. Would you like to say them with us? Ready? Here we go… Both Speakers: Recite the motto, creed, and pledge together. Second Speaker: Thanks for saying them with us. Goodbye for now from your friend, _____________________. First Speaker: And goodbye from your friend, _________________________. Comments and Suggestions on how to use the following script: Here's what I did as a follow-up activity to our school wide study of the school motto, creed, and pledge. You will think of other alternatives. 1. The first step was to select two fifth graders who read with good expression to record the Motto, Creed, and Pledge script on a cassette tape. The same script was recorded on both sides of the tape. A short ten-minute tape works best. Several copies of this master tape were then made on a high-speed tape duplicator. 2. Next, several tape player headsets were purchased, one for each kindergarten, first, and second grade classroom with a few extras to replace those, which would break down or wear out. 3. I then went into all kindergarten, first, and second grade classrooms and shared with them that two of our fifth graders had recorded a special cassette just for them. I asked them if they wanted to hear it! Of course they did! After each class listened to the tape, I asked how many would like to borrow one of my headsets to take outside at recess to listen to the message again. Every hand went up! One headset was allocated to each classroom so that every child in grades K-2 could have their turn in this special privilege of listening privately to the message. 4. It is also recommended that those who have tape recorders at home be given the opportunity to take the cassette home for a couple days so all family members can hear it. A letter should be sent home explaining the nature of the cassette with a form to be completed by those parents who wish to borrow the tape. 5. I believe this activity to be a powerful tool in helping raise the self-esteem of many children. Younger children look up to those in higher grades as role models and I think it very important to identify as many positive role models as possible among older peers. This is one activity that makes this achievable. 6. There were also benefits to the fifth graders who recorded the script. They became very popular personalities among our younger children. One of these role models also worked in the office during the lunch hour. She reported that children would try to sneak gifts to her, including part of their lunch saying, "This is my favorite part, and I wanted you to have it." 7. Along with this activity, we tried to encourage all older children to serve as positive role models for our younger students. They were aware of the cassette tape activity and were encouraged to write their own scripts, and also letter, to encourage and help younger children in our building to get off to a good start. Selected older children were also assigned to play with children on the primary playground.

POSITIVE PERSON MESSAGES

The Positive Person Messages go hand in hand with the Motto, Creed, and Pledge but they take character education a step further. They empower children to be happy and to succeed by increasing their confidence, by improving their self-image, and by creating within them the desire and commitment necessary to become somebody special. Positive Person Messages are simply a list of self-talk, affirmative statements that children memorize throughout the school year, a new message every two weeks. This activity usually follows the Motto, Creed, and Pledge after about 2-3 months into the school year. Positive Person Messages are very important in helping children improve their self-image. They create a good feeling tone in the building and provide many success experiences which every child can enjoy. Again, I recommend that you begin the school year with the motto, creed, and pledge activity and after about two or three months that you switch to the positive person messages. Once you begin, you will probably continue this activity for the remainder of the school year. It is very similar to the motto, creed, and pledge activity, except it provides shorter messages that are easier for children to learn. Also, the variety of introducing a new and different message every two weeks helps keep the interest high in this activity. The mind has been likened to a giant computer which illustrates the value of having children learn and identify with the positive concepts taught in the positive person messages. It does take patience and consistency, but if we keep putting good things into the minds of children, eventually good things will start coming back out! The following is a list of suggested positive person messages you can use; however, it is very likely that you will create your own messages which will grow out of the particular needs of your school or classroom. That's how nearly all of these messages came about. It is important that all positive person messages be written in the present tense. The reason for this will be addressed later. 1. Positive people care about their school I care about my school. I am a positive person. 2. Positive people care about others. I care about others. I am a positive person. 3. Positive people care about themselves. I care about myself. I am a positive person. 4. You are somebody special. I'm special too. I am a positive person. 5. Positive kids do their best work in school. They know it is important for their future. I am a positive person. 6. Positive people never give up. Everybody makes mistakes, but positive people always try again when they make a mistake. I am a positive person. 7. Positive people use positive words and keep their talk clean. I am a positive person. 8. Positive people do their part to make this world a better world and they find happiness and success in life. I am a positive person. 9. Positive people are happy most of the time and they try to make others happy too. I am a positive person. 10. Martin Luther King was a positive person. He had a dream. I have dreams and goals too. I am a positive person. (Note: Use during the month of January.) 11. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were positive presidents. They made America great. I will help make America great too. I am a positive person. (Note: Use during February.) 12. Positive people set a good example. They do things the right way and others follow them. I am a positive person. 13. Positive people know that self-improvement is hard work. I work hard to improve myself. I am a positive person. 14. Positive kids respect and obey their parents and teachers. It's the right thing to do. I am a positive person. 15. Positive people know that as long as you keep trying, you are a winner. It is only when you stop trying that you become a loser. I am a positive person. 16. Positive people do not use put-downs. They always try to say good things about people. I am a positive person. 17. Positive people do not let their problems get them down, but they get on top of their problems. I am a positive person. 18. Positive people use self-control when others try to hurt their feelings. They either ignore it or say, "I'm a positive person and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." (Note: I use this message as follow up to the self-control techniques, another Success Secret item.) 19. Positive people try to do something worthwhile every day. Today I will have a good day and earn a coupon. I am a positive person. (Note: I use this message during the special end of the year activity, another Quick Help item.) 20. I am a good boss over myself. I keep myself out of trouble. I tell myself to do good things. I am a positive person. (Note: I use this message as a follow-up to self-discipline training, another Success Secret item.) 21. You care. I care. We all care because we are positive people at (Name of School). How do you teach the positive person messages to children? The following suggestions for using the positive person messages as a teaching tool to improve character and the self-image of children are based upon what worked for our staff: 1. I found it best to spend at least two weeks on each positive person message before moving on to the next. 2. Children should recite the current positive person message each morning during opening exercises. 3. To introduce each new positive person message, children should write it on the first Monday as a writing lesson, and take it home to share with their parents. 4. Discuss the meaning of the positive person message, ask questions about it, illustrate it, etc. 5. Sometime during the first week, encourage children to draw a picture about the positive person message and write a few words to describe their picture. This helps children visualize and identify with the positive person messages by expressing it in their own terms. Of course these pictures should be displayed in the classroom or halls for others to see. 6. Children should be trained and reminded to use the positive person message as a self-talk activity each evening before going to bed and the first thing each morning when they rise. Parents can help here. Self-talk is a powerful tool to improve the self-concept. 7. Sometime during the second week, children should be encouraged to make a positive person message poster. For these posters, I provide an 8 1/2" by 13" sheet for each child with the positive person message printed in large block letters at the top of the sheet. (Use the computer to print the message in block letters and then enlarge on the copier.) Children enjoy coloring the block letters and illustrating the poster with their own drawing on the bottom half of the sheet. Of course these are posted in the halls or in the classroom. One poster is selected for each positive person message to be laminated and displayed in a permanent place in the building. 8. Another motivating activity for children is to display the current positive person message on a very long banner somewhere on a wall in a high traffic area. When children demonstrate that they have memorized the positive person message, their teacher provides a special pen for them to write their name on the banner. The banner is changed every two weeks along with the positive person message. 9. It is important to review past positive person messages regularly so that they are not forgotten. A good time to do this is every two weeks just before sharing the new positive person message. The teacher or an appointed child can lead with the class reciting in order the past messages after him or her. It keeps me busy but I also offer a prize to any child who can recite to the principal the first ten positive person message in the proper order. 10. This is important. The current positive person message quite often was my conversation piece with children on the playground. I went around asking, "Do you know it?" It was not unusual to have children standing in line waiting to prove to me that they do indeed know it! 11. I made optimum use of our telephone answering system by selecting children to record the current positive person message on a 60 second cassette each week. The script goes something like this: "Hello, My name is John Brown. I'm a 2nd grader in Room 3. Are you a Positive person? That's good! I'm a positive person too. Each week at our school we have a positive person message. I will share this week's message with you. Here it is! George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were positive presidents. They made America great. I will help make America great too. I am a positive person. Thank you for calling our school and don't forget to be a positive person!" Here is a sample letter that I sent to parents during the week that their child had been selected to be on the telephone: Congratulations! Your child, (name of child), has been selected to share this week's positive message over the telephone on (give dates). Please invite all your friends, neighbors, and relatives to call (Phone no.) after 4:00 p.m. on Monday thru Friday or anytime over the weekend to hear (name of school) children share their words of wisdom. Sincerely, Principal How do the positive person messages help improve a child's self-concept? Everybody wants to be somebody, and when children learn to say, "I am a positive person," and really believe it, they also learn that they are somebody pretty important, and they feel good about it. They really like the title and enjoy using it. When I ask children individually, "Are you a positive person?" They nearly always answer in the affirmative, even when something has gone wrong and they are down a little. When I come back with something like, "That's good, because I know you're going to make it," usually I get feedback which communicates to me that being a positive person is pretty important to them. Everybody wants to be somebody, and the "want to" is a very important part of it. I believe two important conditions are necessary in order for a real change to take place within an individual, and the first is the "want to" or a real desire to change. The positive person messages define in behavior terms just what it means to be a positive person, but they also serve a more important purpose. They serve to motivate children to "want to" be positive and to do the things that positive people do. This motivation is heightened by the structure and consistency built into this and other school wide activities and by the popularity of these activities as the momentum continues to build throughout the school year. Once again, a desire within children is the first condition necessary to bring about a change in behavior. The second condition is commitment. It takes real commitment to make a change in behavior but is there a way that we can help children to not only desire but also to commit to such a change? Yes, I discovered an activity that did just that and it is called affirmative self-talk. By using affirmative self-talk, you are expressing the desired change in the present tense; telling yourself that you are, right now, in the process of becoming that very person which you desire to become. You might say it's talking yourself into believing the truth about yourself because when the desire is real and the commitment is real, the change is sure to follow. That is why it is important that all positive person messages be written in the present tense. So from my experience of trying a lot of different approaches on improving the self image of children, I believe that affirmative self-talk as expressed in our bi-weekly Positive Person Messages tops them all. Of course a lot of things work together but this activity became our final and ongoing step in improving the self-concept, the character, and the behavior of many children. One of my exciting observations of children regarding this process is that affirmative self-talk reinforces both desire and commitment, and thus keeps this all-important cycle going. Desire, commitment, and affirmative self-talk and all of this is initiated, nurtured, and sustained by the proper use of Positive Person Messages. I believe this to be a very effective and powerful tool!

NEW STUDENT ORIENTATION

Later in this chapater I will share a simple but neat idea that will make new students really feel welcome at your school and cause them to become your friends for life. It is also really appreciated by parents.

It is difficult for most children to change schools during the middle of the year and for some this experience can become devastating. I remember one mother bringing a son that had just arrived from another country and who was totally unfamiliar with the English language. Of course he cried, clung to his mother, and refused to be left alone in the classroom with a group of total strangers who couldn't even speak his language. No wonder! Yet the child had to begin school. What could we do? Here's what I did, and I don't know how but it really worked. 1. First, I selected another child from the classroom, picked up a playground ball, and went to the school gym. 2. Next, the mother was asked to tell her son that the boy was his new friend and that they could play ball together. 3. A few minutes later, the mother was asked to tell her son that he had to go back to class with his friend now, but they could play ball again later. She would pick him up after school. 4. The rest of the first day went very well. Within a few weeks the new child was at the head of his class in nearly all areas. That's the kind of success story every principal likes to tell! Not every child will have a problem as difficult as the illustration above, but we are right in assuming that most children will have wobbly knees on their first day in a new school. Can your school do anything to help these children make a smooth transition into their new school? Is it important that we try? The answer to both questions is definitely, "Yes!" Here are some things I recommend that you try and please don't miss my most important suggestion with the *** below: 1. First, it is important to have set up in advance a standard procedure to follow every time a new child enrolls in your school. Don't leave it to chance that everything will work out O.K. It usually won't! 2. The teacher could write on the chalkboard, "We welcome (name of new child) to our classroom," or a similar message and leave it there for the remainder of the day. It helps children to remember the new child's name and make him/her feel important. 3. One child from the classroom should be assigned to take the new student on a tour of the building to learn the location of the library, cafeteria, nurse's office, restrooms, etc. The new student should also be introduced to many of the people who work in the building during this special tour. 4. The principal can also make it a policy that every time a class receives a new child, that class gets an extra recess to help them celebrate. The teacher should say, "Because of (the new child) you get an extra recess today. Enjoy it." A little novelty like this can go a long way in helping a class accept newcomers and in helping newcomers feel important. 5. The new child should receive at least two welcome notes from children in the class on his/her first day at the new school. Here's a smooth way to make this work: A. Early in the school year ask every child in the classroom to write a welcome note which will be used later for new students. They can write their own or copy from your script, something like this: Dear Friend, I hope you like our school. I'm glad you are here. Here is a picture I have made for you. Your friend, (Name of writer) Each of these notes are placed in an envelop with the writers name on the outside, "To my new friend from (writers name)" The teacher then puts these notes on hold in a folder labeled, Notes For New Students B. When a new student arrives, the teacher pulls two of these prewritten notes from the folder and hands them to the original writers to give to the new student toward the end of the day to take home. This can help both the new student and parents feel good about the first day in a new school. ***Now, here's the one most important thing I recommend that you try.*** Up to this point I have made a few suggestions of things which you probably are already doing to help new students feel welcome and make a smooth transition into your building. I'm sure there are many other things that work equally well which you have tried with varying degrees of success. Here, however, is the grand finale. This is the one thing I have done year after year and in building after building that makes a greater impression than anything else. It's a very simple idea and requires very little effort or extra work. Try it! It will work for you too! Here's what I do. I instruct my secretary to send each new child who enrolls in our school a welcome card in the U.S. Mail. This is usually sent out after the child has been on our school for about a week. Why does this little gimmick work so well? 1. Possible it is because children really enjoy getting their own mail. 2. It is also a surprise to them to get a welcome card in the U.S. Mail from their principal. Most of them say that it has never happened before. 3. Perhaps the special message inside the card has something to do with its great success. Here's what the card says: On the front, "Welcome to (Name of School)!" On the inside, a message something like this: "Dear (Name of new child), Welcome to our school. I'm glad you are here. Please return this card to my office so I can sign it and I will give you a prize." Sincerely, (Name of Principal) 4. What you say to the child when he/she brings the card back to school and comes to the office to pick up a prize is also very important. I usually share something like this; "Do you know why I sent you this card? (They will say, 'No.') I sent you this card because I really am glad that you are here. I want you to know that I am your friend. If you every have any problems just let me know and I will try to help you. O.K.?" 5. Of course, after signing the card (I call it giving them my autograph) I ask them to keep it as a souvenir. Many, many times after receiving this special welcome card and after the special session in the office with the principal to receive their prize, these children wave to me in the lunchroom or come up to me on the playground to just talk and let me know that they like their new school. They become my friends for life! The prize? Anything will work, but I recommend a positive message pen imprinted with the message, "Welcome to (Name of School) From Some Who Cares." The principal's name and school phone should also be included.

INTRODUCTION TO SELF-DISCIPLINE

In this report self-discipline is explained in terms a child can understand. This is a dialog you can use with children to help them understand the concept of self-discipline.

Probably the first step in helping children learn self-discipline is to find better and more effective ways to bring this concept down to the child's level. In must be communicated in words they can understand and in ways that will challenge them to become responsible for their own behavior, even when no one is looking. It's difficult to do but I believe it is an important and necessary part of effective self-discipline training. How do you bring the concept of self-discipline down to the child's level? I'm sharing at this point a dialogue I use with children to help them understand the concept of self-discipline. It is mostly a series of questions to stimulate their thinking and involvement in the discussion. The usual responses given by children are indicated within the parentheses. This is only a beginning step, but children do seem to understand it and relate to it. I call this dialogue, "You Be The Boss!" The words, self-discipline, have little meaning to small children, but they do understand quite well the meaning of the word, boss. Dialogue For, "You Be The Boss" --- How would you like to be the boss over somebody? (Of course, all hands go up.) --- I'm thinking about trying an experiment and letting you be the boss over somebody, but before I do, I want to ask some questions to make sure you know what a boss is and what a good boss does. --- What does a boss do? (He/she tells other people what to do and what not to do, etc.) --- All of us have many bosses. Who is your boss at home? (Parents, grandparents, etc.) --- Who is your boss at school? (Teacher, principal, etc.) --- Do your parents have a boss at work that tells them what to do and what not to do? (Yes) --- Does your teacher have a boss? (Yes.) Who is your teacher's boss? (The Principal) --- Does the principal have a boss? (Quite often they say, "no," and are surprised when I share the names and titles of my many bosses.) --- Does a good boss tell you to do good things or bad things? (Good things.) --- Does a good boss tell you to do right things or wrong things? (Right things.) --- Why does a good boss tell you to do good things and right things? (Because they care about you and want to help you. Also, because they are responsible for what happens.) --- What usually happens when people don't listen to their boss and do not obey their boss? (They get into trouble and may loose their job or they may not get a promotion or pay raise, etc.) --- So we really should always respect and obey our bosses and all those who have authority over us. It's the right thing to do. You should respect and obey your parents at home, your teacher's at school, and anyone else who has authority over you, like the law, the police, etc. --- Remember a boss is someone who tells other people what to do and what not to do. Now, how would you like to be the boss over somebody? (Again, everyone likes the idea!) --- Will you be a good boss and really care about the person you are going to boss? (Yes!) --- If you listen to and obey your bosses, then I think you'll probably make a good boss yourself. That's the way it usually works! --- How many want to do it? (Unanimous!) --- Are you sure you will be a good boss? Will you really care about the person you're going to boss? Will you tell them to do the right things and good things? Will you help keep them out of trouble? (Yes, yes, yes!) --- O.K., you can be the boss over a very important person and you can be that person's boss for the rest of your life! (At this point there are a lot of ooh's and aah's.) --- Do you know who that person is? (Usually only a few children in the class are able to figure out that I'm talking about them being a boss over themselves, and at this point there is a little let-down in the excitement, and I have to try to bring them back up.) --- You might say, "I already have a boss, my parents and my teachers. They tell me what to do and what not to do." That's true, and please never forget it, but your parents and teachers cannot always be with you. You need a good boss who can be with you at all times when your parents and teachers are not close by to tell you what to do. Besides, if you will be a good boss over yourself, they will soon learn that they don't have to always tell you what to do because they know they can trust you to tell yourself to do the right things and to keep yourself out of trouble. --- O.K., you're the boss. Take charge of your life when your parents, teachers, and other bosses are not around. Be a good boss over yourself. You can do it! Tell yourself to do good things and to do the right things. If you tell yourself, then you can do it because you are now the boss over yourself. --- Now, here is something important to remember. There will always be bad acting people who will try to be your boss and try to get you to do things that are wrong. You must not listen to those people who try to get you to do wrong things because they do not have the right to be your boss. They may try to be your boss, but you should say, "No," if they are telling you to do things that are wrong. If you do what they say, you are responsible, and have to take the consequences and that could be bad! --- Remember, you should always say, "No," to people who tell you to do wrong things because you are your own boss when your parents or teachers (or others you know and trust) are not around. What are you going to do if a stranger tells you to get into their car? What are you going to do if someone tries to get you to smoke? What are you going to do if someone tries to get you to take drugs? What are you going to do if someone tries to get you to steal something from the store? Always say, "No," because you are now your own boss and you are responsible for what happens to you. --- There are two parts to you. The first part is the part I see, the things you say and do, etc. The other part of you is the part I can't see. It's the part that thinks and cares about others and things like that. That's the most important part because that's the part that's going to be your boss, and tell you to do good things and right things. So, before you do something, always check with the boss that is inside you to make sure you are doing the right thing. --- Take charge of your life starting today. Be a good boss over yourself. If you do, you'll be a better and a happier person. If you don't take charge of your life, and if you re not a good boss over yourself, you always have to take the consequences, and that can be pretty serious. Good luck! As mentioned earlier the above dialogue really seems to help children in their understanding of the concept of self-discipline, and by the close of the session they really seem to be challenged to apply the principles discussed, as is evidenced by their excited responses to my questions. This is an important beginning, a necessary first step, but the biggest mistake you can make, is to assume that they will always remember and apply the principles discussed. They will forget, and most will forget the next day! Some will remember parts of it but with a wrong interpretation, like the kindergarten child who told her parents that she didn't have to mind them anymore because Mr. Winner said she was her own boss! As is true with most structured activities, once this concept has been presented and children have a clear understanding of the meaning of self-discipline, we must do all we can to assure that they will never forget. This leads to our next question. How can you help children remember what they have learned about the meaning of self-discipline? You have to review, discuss, review, illustrate, and review over and over. Here is a handout I share with teachers to help review and reinforce the key parts of this introduction to self-discipline training. Of course the reading of this handout in the classroom opens up opportunities for discussion, explanations, illustrations, etc. Follow-up On Self-Discipline Training Teachers: Please read or share the following words with your class each morning for the next several days. After that, do the same a couple times per week, then once a week, and finally once per month. For variety, have children take turns reading it. Those who are going to read the next day should take a copy home the night before to practice so they will do a good job. This will also involve parents in the training. (Name of principal) says: "Take charge of yourself today. Be a good boss over yourself. Tell yourself to do good things. Tell yourself to do right things. You can do it, and it will make you a better and a happier person!" Here are nine good things to tell yourself to do today: 1. Today, I will obey my teachers. 2. Today, I will keep the school rules. 3. Today, I will help my school be at its best. 4. Today, I will set a good example. 5. Today, I will be nice to everyone. 6. Today, I will help those who need me. 7. Today, I will do my best work in school. 8. Today, I will stay out of trouble. 9. Today, I will try again when I make a mistake. As already stated, this procedure is only an introduction to self-discipline training, but I believe it can be a very important foundation and can erase many problems down the road. Once this foundation has been laid, we must help children learn that they are responsible for the choices they make and that they must indeed experience the consequences of those choices. If they make right choices, good things happen to them. If they make wrong choices, unpleasant things will happen to them. That's just the way life is! The "Tough Love" approach, another tool in your tool box, will be necessary for many children.

SELF-CONTROL TECHNIQUES

This Success Secret may not be for everyone. It is different and may look like too much work for the payoff for some educators but it really worked for me and therefore I share it with you. I created this activity several years ago in a building where our children were having problems with a lot of arguing, name calling, fighting, etc. and now I wouldn’t want to run a building without it. It is a training tool that gives children confidence to overcome what they consider to be their two biggest problems at school: What to do if somebody calls you a name or hurts your feelings, and what to do if somebody hits you or hurts you. This item works best as a building-wide program and usually a large number of teachers are happy to go along with the training exercises because it gives them the power to significantly reduce discipline problems. In this activity we are trying to help children handle strong emotional situations in a positive manner, and therefore is a part of self-discipline training. It is however, uniquely different, and perhaps that is part of the reason it is such an attractive and powerful tool to use with children. What is different about the suggested self-control techniques? You have probably observed that most of our approaches in trying to bring about a change in behavior involve the principle of trying to put right thinking into the minds of children. Right thinking produces right actions; what we think in our minds we will eventually act out in our behavior. That certainly is a valid principle and on this principle other success secrets are based such as the motto, creed, and pledge, the positive person messages, etc. This principle, however, does not cover the entire spectrum of what we know about the way children learn, grow, and develop in their personality. Here is an important insight that must not be overlooked in order to have a successful positive attitude-training program for children. It is true that thinking effects behavior, but it is also true that behavior effects thinking just as well. It's true! The things we do every day just out of routine (our work, our duties, our recreation, and our habits) tend to mold us into certain patterns of thinking and help form our basic beliefs about life in general. Now, with this in mind, our purpose in teaching self-control techniques is to train children to use specific and habitual behavior responses, whenever confronted with emotional situations that are threatening to them. They will learn to use these same responses over and over each time the strong emotional situations occur. They will also, in the process, gain new confidence and a new sense of security that will cause these situations to become less threatening to them. To the degree that this occurs, we will have been successful in changing the thinking of children by starting with the behavior. Children really need these trained responses because witout them they usually cannot think properly nor act properly during times of extreme emotion. Name calling, hurt feelings, etc. often develop into more serious problems causing those involved to overreact with extreme emotional responses that are completely out of control. If we practice fire drills and tornado drills with children in order to prepare them ahead of time to act properly in case of an emergency, why can we not train children ahead of time to act properly when faced with certain emotional emergencies? What are the self-control techniques and how do you teach them to children? I'm going to share at this point the dialogue I use with children to introduce self-control training. As the principal, I normally share this information in grade level assemblies. Teachers could also share this information in their individual classrooms. You may skip the introductory comments if you are not using the motto, creed, and pledge and the positive person message programs in your building. I. Introductory Comments: I like the way you are learning and saying the Motto, Creed, and Pledge, and I like the way you are learning and saying the Positive Person Messages each week. Are you calling on the telephone after school to hear the positive messages read by your classmates? I know that many of you are. Are you saying the positive person message each night before you go to sleep and when you get up in the morning? Try not to forget. This is important. What you think in your mind, and what you say with your voice, you will become. Every day our school is getting better and better because more and more of you are learning how to care about your school, how to care about others, and how to care about yourself, and learning how to be a positive person. II. Learning to Use Self-Control Today could be one of the most important days of your life because in this assembly I'm going to teach you how to use self-control to solve the two biggest problems you will ever have at school. When you use self-control, you don't always say what you feel like saying, and you don't always do what you feel like doing. Instead you learn to always say and do the right things regardless of how you may feel, and you will learn to do it by habit without even thinking much about it. Of course, you'll have to practice a lot in order to become good at it. III. Name Calling and Put-Downs Today, you will learn what to do if someone calls you a name, calls your mother a name, or says anything to hurt your feelings. That's the first big problem that most kids have at school. Probably the best advice is to just ignore it, and act like you don't hear them, and after a while they will usually stop. That's probably what your Mother tells you to do and of course, she's right. But it's hard for some kids not to say something back. Right? So what they usually do is say the same thing back or something worse. That's what you probably feel like doing, but it doesn't work! It just makes both of you get madder and madder and the big argument could end up in a fight. Most fights start with name-calling. So that's a pretty big problem for most kids (to know what to do if someone calls you a name, calls your mother a name or says anything to hurt your feelings). It's hard not to say something back, but when you say the same thing back, it doesn't work. It just makes things worse! I'm happy to report that I have the answer to this problem. First, you should ignore it if you can. If you cannot ignore it, you should not say the same thing back or something worse. You should say something positive, something that will make you feel good instead of bad when you say it. I will teach you what to say in just a minute. IV. Name Calling and Put-Downs (Continued) First, let's look at a couple pictures. The first picture (hold up a happy face) is you; you are a positive person! The other picture (sad face) is the person who calls you a name, calls your mother a name or makes fun of you. They may not look like that on the outside, but that's the way they feel on the inside. They feel bad. When people say bad things that means they feel bad on the inside. Now, when some people feel bad, they try to make other people feel bad, too. That's why they called you a name! Don't fall into their trap! If you say the same thing back, that's going to prove that they made you feel bad too, and that's what they wanted. If you say anything back, it needs to be something positive so they will know that you are not going to fall into their trap. When anyone calls you a name, calls your mother a name, or says anything to hurt your feelings, if you can't ignore it, here's what you say. Say, "I'm a positive person, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away and feel good about what you said because you remembered to say the right thing, and you didn't fall into their trap. If they do it again, either ingor it or say, "I'm a positive person and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away and feel good about yourself again because two times you remembered to say the right thing and you didn't fall into their trap. Always remember that you are winning as long as you keep saying the right thing, and then walk away. V. Hitting What do you do if someone hits you or hurts you? In this day and age it's usually good advice to not directly respond to kids who are bullies but let someone with more authority take care of them. You are an American citizen and you have the right to feel safe and protected at school. In genereal, you should make sure that your teacher, your principal, and your parents know what is going on and then let them advise you and take care of the situation rather than trying to work it out yourself. To be more specific, you should be prepared to use self-control when someone hits you or hurts you. Here are two steps to take: Step 1: Say, "I'm a positive person and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Step: 2: If they hit you again after you walk away or if you are badly hurt, always report it to a teacher or an adult in charge. Take a witness with you if you can. Also, tell your parents about the incident. Reminder: Always use self-control instead of saying the same thing back or hitting back. Self-control works! Saying the same thing back or hitting back usually does not work. It only makes matters worst! You have the right to feel safe and protected at school but you must do your part and use self-control during tough emotional situations. How do we help children remember what to say and do when faced with threatening emotional situations like name-calling and hitting? This is a new and different way of responding to emotional problems for most children. They normally respond in whatever way their feelings dictate, and it takes time and much practice in order for them to change and remember to say and do the right things. As the principal, you may come up with a different and even a better set of responses for your school setting, but whatever you come up with it is important that all children be taught and trained in the use of precise self-control techniques. You need to review the proper responses over and over, so many times that children will know them almost as well as they know their own names. Then you need to encourage them to look for opportunities to practice what they have learned. Immediately after the self-control techniques are presented to children, teachers are requested to ask the review questions given below during opening exercises daily for about two weeks. These questions and answers replace the normal positive person message during that period so everyone can focus entirely on this activity. These questions and answers are also included as part of the recorded telephone message for children and parents who call the school after 4:00 p.m. Review Questions--Name Calling and Hitting Question #1: What do you do if someone calls you a name, calls your Mother a name, or says anything to hurt your feelings? Answer: Either ignore it, or say, "I'm a positive person, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #2: What do you do if they do it again? Answer: Either ignore it, or say, "I'm a positive person, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #3: What do you do you do if someone hits you or hurts you? Answer: Say, "I'm a positive person and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #4: If they do not stop after you walk away, or if you are badly hurt, then what do you do? Answer: Always report it to a teacher and to your parents. It's important that the training in self-control techniques be taken on as a total school project. There is something about a total school project that causes most children to want to really get involved and be a part of what's going on. If you follow the procedures we have discussed, after a few weeks, nearly every child in the school will be able to repeat back the answers to the above five questions. Of course, some children who memorize the self-control techniques will forget or fail to use them when the pressure is on and they are faced with threatening emotional situations. Don't be discouraged. Look at each of these incidents as an opportunity to review with children what they should have done, how things would have ended so much better if they had used their training, etc. Use the failures and mistakes of children to illustrate that the old way of saying the same thing back or hitting back does not work, and to affirm that the new way of using self-control does work! In conclusion, I will share a second dialogue that can be used later as needed to review with children the purpose and importance of using self-control techniques. I will also share a sample letter that can be used as review or anytime during the training of these techniques. The letter is helpful because it informs and involves parents in the self-control training of their children. Put-Downs and Hitting (A Second Dialogue to use with children) Kids who use put-downs (name calling, hurting the feelings of others, etc.) really have a problem. 1. Why do they do it? A. They may be trying to show off in front of someone they want to impress. They may think they can build themselves up by putting others down, but they are wrong. When kids put down others they are really putting themselves down more because no one likes a show-off. B. They may be trying to get even with someone who has not been nice to them but that doesn't work either. It only increases the bad feelings that can get out of control. Two wrongs don't make a right! It doesn't work to lower yourself to the other person's level and say something bad about them just because they said something bad about you. C. They may be feeling bad on the inside and usually when people feel bad on the inside they try to make others feel bad too. Of course, that is not the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to always show that you care about others, and that will always make you feel good on the inside! 2. Kids who us put-downs are hurting themselves more than they are hurting others. How? A. They are hurting their own reputation. They are showing the world something about themselves, which is not very attractive. It's not a good way to win friends and influence people! B. They are hurting their own character and developing habits that can make them losers in life. 3. How can you help kids change who have a habit of using put downs or hurting others, and help yourself at the same time? A. First, don't do the same thing back. You're just falling into their trap and reinforcing their habit. That doesn't help them change, and it certainly doesn't help you because it makes you become just like them. B. Here's what you do. Attack the problem and not the person! Learn how to use self-control whenever you have a problem with put-downs or hitting. I have written you a letter that has five questions and answers that will help. Learn these answers and use them! And you will soon become an expert in the use of self-control. Then you will be able to help both yourself and others. Self-Control Letter to Children Dear Boys and Girls, I'm glad we don't have a big problem with name calling and hitting at (name of school). We just don't believe in these things, and we don't allow them. That's one reason we have such a great school. We are learning to be positive people at (name of school)! I do think, however, that you need to know what to do if these problems ever happen to you. Here are four questions and answers that tell you what to do about name calling and hitting. If you remember to do these things, you will keep yourself out of trouble. It will also help you feel good about yourself and that's important! Good luck. Your teachers care about you, and I care about you too! Sincerely, Principal Question #1: What do you do if someone calls you a name, calls your Mother a name, or says anything to hurt your feelings? Answer: Either ignore it, or say, "I'm a positive person, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #2: What do you do if they do it again? Answer: Either ignore it, or say, "I'm a positive person, and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #3: What do you do if someone hits you or hurts you? Answer: Say, "I'm a positive person and I'm sorry you're having a bad day." Then walk away. Question #4: If they do not stop after you walk away, or if you are badly hurt, then what do you do? Answer: Always report it to a teacher and to your parents..

A TOUGH LOVE APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE

The meaning and value of Tough Love as it relates to discipline is shared in this report along with examples of how this approach can be applied to specific discipline problems.

What do you do when children have gone through many of the training tools (Motto, Creed, and Pledge, Positive Person Messages, Self-Discipline, Self-Control Techniques, etc.) and some of them still do not exercise self-control? We are now back to the difficult task of moving children beyond the knowledge and understanding levels of learning to the application level. The importance of a healthy self-concept in improving behavior has been recognized and we must continue to work very hard in that area, but is there anything else we can do? Yes, there is something else that we must do! In one sentence, here is what we must do. We must allow children to experience the natural and unpleasant consequences of their own misbehavior, and at the same time continue to communicate that we really care for them and want to help them. There are a lot of different ways of expressing what I am suggesting in this statement. It could be called mixing mercy with judgement, a proper balance between firmness and fairness, etc. Someone has summed it up in simply two words, "tough love!" Now, notice the two parts in my one sentence statement: 1) "Allow children to experience the natural and unpleasant consequences of their own misbehavior," (being tough) and 2) "at the same time continue to communicate that you really care and want to help them." (doing it in love). This teaching method as it relates to discipline is simply recognizing that there comes a time when we must allow children to experience the relationship between choices and consequences. What we do, in disciplining children, is nearly always much more important than what we say, and when we allow children to experience the consequences of their choices we are helping them learn from real life experience that they are responsible for their choices. Wrong choices (misbehavior) must consistently result in consequences that are unpleasant for the child, but at the same time, the unpleasant consequences must be administered in a caring manner and only for the purpose of helping the child. It is always important to include both parts of this method in disciplining children. When you use "tough love" correctly and consistently, you will find that it is a very effective approach in helping children break a bad habit without breaking the spirit of the child. Can you give examples of ways to apply the tough love approach to discipline? Example #1; Giving Positive Reprimands For many offences and for many children all that is needed is a reprimand, but some reprimands do more harm than good. The positive reprimand is both safe and effective. Here's an outline of how it works: A. The first half of the reprimand: 1. Reprimand children as immediately and as privately as possible 2. Tell them what they did wrong and be specific. This is important because children do forget. 3. Tell them how you feel about what they did wrong. Children are feeling oriented. Feelings are important to them. 4. Stop for a few seconds of uneasy silence to let them know how you feel. B. The second half of the reprimand: 1. Tell them you do not like what they did, but that you still care for them as a person. 2. If it is appropriate, touch them in a way that lets them know you really care for them and that you want to help them. 3. Reaffirm that you believe in them and that you are confident they will do better in the future. 4. Drop the reprimand once it is over. A good and proper reprimand is all that is needed for many children to get them back on track and when that is all that is needed, nothing more should be done. I have found this particular manner of giving a reprimand to be very effective. Try it. You will be pleased with the results. There have been many times that I have gone through the first part of the reprimand with no apparent response from children. However, after stopping for a few seconds of silence and then applying the second half of the reprimand, I observed eyes filled with tears or other responses which indicated that I had touched the real person behind the behavior. I adapted this positive reprimand for children from material found in the book, The One-Minute Manager, by Kenneth Blanchard. Please read that book! It contains a lot of valuable information applicable to children. Example #2; Helping Children Break a Severe Habit of Stealing I'm not speaking here of a one-time instance or of the occasional disappearance of items. I'm talking about the child who has a compulsion to take anything and everything he can get his hands on. Can tough love help a child with this kind of problem? Of course, we first must recognize that stealing is a total classroom problem, and that it is important to teach all children that they are responsible for taking care of their own belongings. They should not bring valuable items to school nor leave personal belongings laying around as a temptation for others, etc. Proper supervision is also very important because each time a child succeeds in taking something without getting caught it just reinforces the habit he/she has acquired. Let's assume, however, that all these precautions have been taken, and a particular child has been caught many times taking things. What can you do? What can you do that will allow the child to experience the natural and unpleasant consequence of his own misbehavior and at the same time communicate that you really care and want to help him? There are, no doubt, a variety of things you can try, and I know that my suggestion here will be controversial. It has, however, worked for me and so I will share it with you. First, talk with the child in private and share that you both know that he has a habit of taking things that do not belong to him. Ask the child if he wants to break the habit. He will say that he does. Tell the child that you really care for him and want to help him break his habit. Tell him hat he will have to break the habit by his own choice, but that you are going to help him. Tell him that you know he cares about others and does not want to make others feel bad by taking their belongings, etc. That's the love part, now here's the tough part. Tell the child that the way you are going to help him is to allow him to take the consequence of what he has done. Since he has caused others to feel bad by taking their belongings, you are going to cause him to feel bad by taking something that belongs to him, and something that he likes very much. Tell him that you know this will be hard on him, but by taking this consequence, he will learn how if feels to have things stolen, and it will help him to choose to break this habit. Here's an important part. After you identify the item you are going to take (with parent's agreement) remind the child that you do care about him and that you are going to give his (valuable belonging) back if he goes one week straight (or a specified period of time) without taking things. Most children can make it for a week if you are holding an item that is valuable to them, and so you return the item at the end of the week and celebrate his accomplishment with him. Ask the child how it feels to have his (valuable belonging) back. Ask how he feels about going for a whole week without taking things. Do you feel good about it? Do you feel proud of yourself, etc.? Tell him that you are proud of him and since he has gone one week, you know that he can go another week, and if goes another week, you believe that he can make it for the rest of his life. Ask the child if he wants to make it his goal to go another week of feeling good and not taking things. He will say that he does. Of course, the child should receive praise and recognition each day he successfully works toward his goal. If the child fails, you might say, I'm going to give you another chance, but next time, I will have to keep your (valuable belonging) for two weeks, etc. Ask him how he would feel if you had to take his valuable belonging again. The object here is to be firm but to mix it with fairness, to be tough but to mix it with love; both are necessary in order to really reach the child and help him make a change. Before leaving the problem of stealing, and to further illustrate that tough love is an effective teaching method, I must share that I remember working with one child that had such a problem with stealing that she could not go for a week without taking things, even while I was holding an item that way very valuable to her. This particular child was a first grader, and we had to work with her for a month or two before she was able to go one week straight without taking things. I had her doll baby. She begged and begged for it back. Of course, I could not give it back. I had to be tough. I had to allow her to experience the natural and unpleasant consequence of her own misbehavior. But how could I also mix in the love part and show her that I cared for her and wanted to help her. I finally let her see her doll baby and hold it for a short while. That was a smart move because I soon discovered that she was able to go one day without taking things with the promise that she would be able to hold her baby for a short while. And after a lot of hard work she finally made it for an entire week without taking things. What a day of celebration that was for the two of us! This particular child had many other problems. We tried to ignore most of them during this period and just work on the problem of stealing. I am happy to report that to the best of my knowledge, this first grade child really broke the habit of taking things. She felt good about herself and began to show a lot of improvement in other areas as well. That often happens. When you help a child solve a really difficult problem the success will carry over into other areas as well. This very same child came up to me on the playground toward the end of the school year and asked, "Do you want to hear me say a positive person message?" When I assured her that I did, she recited perfectly a positive person message from earlier in the year, "Positive people know that as long as you keep trying you are a winner. It is only when you stop trying that you become a loser. I am a positive person." This voluntary and self-confident expression certainly demonstrated the progress made by this child, and it also shows how many of the training tools in this book work together to bring about improvement in both the self-esteem and behavior of children. Example #3; Dealing with the Problem of Fighting As a final example, let's apply the tough love approach to a discipline problem like fighting. As background, I must first share that the success secret item called Self-Control Techniques, is the best and most effective tool I have ever used to deal with the problem of fighting on a school wide basis. I would not want to run a school without it. The children referred to in this example had the training in self-control techniques. There are three major concerns that usually must be addressed when trying to resolve a fight. The first concern is to learn the truth about what really happened; how it started, why it started, etc. Getting at the truth is an almost impossibility by traditional methods because "the other person" always started it, and both parties have their friends to back them up as witnesses, etc. The second concern is that a bad example has been set and something must be done to keep that from happening again. Of course, the third and major concern is to really help the parties involved to resolve their differences and to learn something from this experience that will keep it from happening again. Here's an approach I often use with a good degree of success in addressing these three concerns. First, what's the tough part in the tough love approach? I share with the parties involved that the fight should not have occurred because they had been trained to use self-control during times like this. I also tell them that they will have to take certain consequences as a result of their fight, and that the normal consequence for fighting at our school are quite severe, either removal from school or at least contacting their parents for a conference, etc. Now, here's the love part. After a period of uncomfortable silence, I say something like this. "You both have made a big mistake, but I still care for you and want to help you if I can. You still have to take a consequence for your fight, but if you can talk this over in private and agree on two things together, I will give you a lesser consequence, like a recess detention or an after school detention." Here are the two things on which you must agree. 1. First, you must get your facts together about what really happened and give me just one story that you both agree is true. 2. Second, you must make up, become friends, and tell me how you will keep this same thing from happening again. If you cannot do these two things, then you will have to take the regular consequence for fighting which is either school removal or my contacting your parents for a conference. Of course, with the pressure of sever consequences hanging over their heads (the tough part), the parties involved usually are very glad for the opportunity (the love part) to talk things over and agree on the two requirements. I'm usually pleased with the results of this approach. It's very refreshing to hear the same story from both parties for a change. The other concern, setting a bad example, can be addressed at the end of the conference by talking about it and by leading them in a pledge to set a good example in the future. This can be part of the school pledge, "Because I care about others: I will set a good example. I will be nice to everyone, I will help those who need me."

HOW TO VIEW DIFFICULT CHILDREN

What we do to help difficult children will be based upon how we view these children. This report recognizes the important relationship between sound educational theory and practical application. This information is valuable to all educators who really want to make a difference.

Theory and Practical Application There has always been debate in our profession regarding the relationship between theory and practical application. Some have charged that just a few months of on the job training can cancel out most of the educational theory learned during the entire four years of a teacher's education in college. That certainly is not a just charge, but it does contain an element of truth; namely, that teachers must learn more than just theory and philosophy if they are going to survive in today's classrooms. Our storehouse of knowledge must include specific tools, activities, plans of action, etc. that will really make a difference in the classroom. I have tried to share many practical applications of educational theory in the various Quick Help Reports for Elementary Principals. However, I would be among the first to warn that we are just kidding ourselves if we think any program of instruction can be effective that is not based on solid, educational theory and research. That's exactly why so many of the "fly by night" approaches are short lived. They are build upon sand rather than rock. If our tools, activities, and plans of action are to be effective, they must be based upon solid foundational truths. The real concern is not theory verses practical application, but now to bring these two important factors together, and to see the value and absolute necessity of the relationship. Most suggestions in Success Secrets are an outgrowth of my own personal thinking and beliefs about children gained as a result of working with them for nearly thirty years in a public school setting. I believe that most of this thinking is solid and is in line with a proper understanding of child growth and development; however, of that you will have to be the judge. These reports are just an expression of the way I see things, based upon the theory and philosophy I have internalized over the years as a result of working directly with children and searching for answers to their many problems. Every Child Has Two Parts As a kind of background theory for working with difficult children, I suggest that we keep things simple and think of children as having two parts. The one part is the part we see--the overt behavior of the child. There's no problem in observing this part. We can read it loud and clear. The other part is the part we cannot see. It is a more subtle part, and often an evasive part; yet it is the most potent part of the child. I call this other part, the self-determining person behind the behavior. Now, the self-determining person should be responsible, and take charge of his/her own behavior in positive ways. Some do, and some don't. Of course, when the person is not in charge of his own behavior, other forces take over; negative feelings, fears, bad examples of peers, destructive habits, etc. The end result is that we have a very difficult child on our hands, and a child headed for self-destruction unless someone is able to intervene. Now, here is an important observation which I believe must be kept constantly before us if we are ever going to be able to save difficult children. The behavior of a child may be rotten and may need to be thrown out with the trash, but the person back of the behavior is a human being and is always worthy of dignity and respect. Also, the self-determining person back of the behavior is capable of becoming responsible and taking charge of his'/her own behavior with proper encouragement and instruction. While it is often necessary to punish improper behavior, it is also necessary that the punishment always be administered in a way which will communicate to the person back of the behavior that we really care and really want to help them. I believe the greatest power we have to influence a real and lasting change in behavior is based upon our ability to establish a unique relationship with the self-determining person back of the behavior, to really penetrate the shell and communicate with the person in a meaningful way. I have suggested that we think of children as having two parts. I hate to take more of your time here, but this is such an important concept that it must be illustrated further. We have learned from psychology that a child is the product of his heredity and environment. Right? Wrong! There is another factor, and it is the self-determining person back of heredity and environment. For example, heredity speaks of potential, but do all of us live up to our full potential? Who determines that? You do and I do-- the self-determining person behind the heredity. Also, environment speaks of opportunity, but do all of us take advantage of every opportunity? Who determines that? Of course, it is again the self-determining person behind the environment. Many people seem to come up short in life even though they have the best of both heredity and environment. That's always sad but it does happen. Many people on the other hand seem to succeed in spite of their heredity and environment, rather than because of it. Hurrah for them! What makes the difference? Yes, it is the self-determining person behind the behavior. Now here is an important point. We certainly have no control over a child's heredity, and neither do we have control over the environment from which our children come. We know it is often not good, but there's really very little we can do to change it. We need not despair, however, because there is one very important factor in our favor. A child is more than the product of his heredity and environment. The person managing his heredity and environment is the essential factor in determining what each child will become. If we are successful in influencing the manager in positive ways, he/she will make the best of their heredity, and eventually will improve or change their environment. Every Child Has A Thermostat When the self-determining person behind the behavior is not managing his/her behavior in positive ways, usually something has gone wrong in the personality development of the child. There is a common consensus among psychologists and educators that (whatever the cause) nearly all difficult children have a poor self-concept. That seems to be the end result, the focal point of whatever has gone wrong in the personality development of the child. It then follows that a poor self-concept may be the root and cause of most of the improper behavior by which difficult children are known. Of course, an exception to this consensus may be the children who have a physical problem (such as extreme hyperactivity) that makes it very difficult for them to properly manage their behavior. In time these children will also develop a poor self-concept if their physical problem is not properly addressed. Why do children with a poor self-concept experience great difficulty in learning to care for others and in practicing acceptable social skills? Here's my theory and I believe it is sound. It is difficult for these children to behave properly because they are compelled to act out in their behavior what they perceive themselves to be as a person. They act out a particular pattern of behavior that is based on the image they have of themselves, and this image is engraved both in the conscious and subconscious mind. Because the subconscious mind is involved, much of the behavior is acted out automatically without even thinking about it. Have you ever rewarded or praised a child for doing some good deed and then observed him/her to immediately go off and do something terrible? It's hard to understand, isn't it? It's hard to understand, unless we recognize that there is a compulsion within the child which forces him to act out what he really believes himself to be. The process which takes place in either the conscious or subconscious mind is perhaps something like this. "Doing a good deed and being rewarded for it, no, that's not like you. Do something quick to prove what you really are." The compulsion within the child has been likened to the thermostat on the wall that keeps the room temperature constant in your home according to the setting. In order to change the temperature you must change the setting of the thermostat. And so it is with children. In order to change behavior, we must first change or improve the self-concept. Please be patient. Never give up! It takes time and it takes consistency in applying appropriate caring and teaching methods, but a change will occur if we are determined to make it occur. Every Child Needs A Mentor Every child needs a mentor, especially every difficult child. Perhaps these children have often sought out that special relationship with the adults who are important in their lives and have not found it. I remember one child, a fourth grader in one of my schools, who took a bottle of pills and almost lost her life. She shared with me later; "I had to do it to find out if my parents really loved me." I also heard the sad report of another child with a cleft pallet, who was not considered to be an attractive child. His father said to him, "I'm leaving your mother because I can't stand to live with and ugly child like you any longer." How sad! It is believed that a child's self-concept is the result of their interpretation of feedback about themselves received over the years from important people in their lives. The feedback may not be as devastating as the two examples cited, but the child's interpretation of the feedback is more important than the actual feedback itself. Caring adults may mean well, but children may often misinterpret their words and actions. A child's mind can interpret even little insignificant statements, actions, or inactions as meaning, "They don't love me, they don't want me, or they don't believe in me." What then, is the role of a good mentor? I will at this point repeat a statement made earlier in this report. I believe the greatest power we have to influence a real and lasting change in behavior is based upon our ability to establish a unique relationship with the self-determining person back of the behavior; to really penetrate the shell and communicate with the person in a meaningful way. How to do that is another question and a lot depends upon the personality of both the mentor and the child. I think the most important thing to remember is that a good mentor will find ways to communicate to children that he really cares for them and believes in them and in their potential of having a happy and successful life. A winning coach is, foremost, a coach who really believes in his team. He communicates his confidence in them and to them and they in turn gain confidence in themselves. Here is a quote that I have adapted for children from Blanchard's book, The One-Minute Manager. "Children are not what they think they are. Children are not what we think they are. But children will usually become what they think we think they are." It is certainly the role of a good mentor to help children feel good about themselves. Children who feel good about themselves will eventually produce good results. In summary, a good mentor will give children constant reassurance by both word and deed that they do care and that they do believe in them. Here's a final anonymous quote. "Every child is a potential winner. Some are disguised as losers. Don't let their appearances fool you." Difficult Children Can Make a Change The following success story is shared to document the fact that severe negative attitudes and a poor self-concept can be changed. They can be changed into positive attitudes and a healthy self-concept when an all-out, intensive effort is made to do so, involving the important people in the child's life. Special thanks is given to the child's teacher, Deborah Glenn, for providing the factual information in the follow outline. 1. Describe the child when first enrolled in your class. "This child was much larger than the other children, very unsure of herself, surly, had been questioned as being mentally retarded in her other school, very unhappy, lacked self confidence, had been in 21 foster homes, was an abused child." 2. Describe the child now. "She is now popular with the class, very confident, laughs all the time, is learning to give an receive affection, is well cared for at home, helpful and cooperative in class, and got mostly A's and B's on her report card!" 3. Explain what you believe to be the factors that brought about the changes. "The major change was that Sarah was adopted by a loving and caring family. She had a lot of structure in class and knew what was expected of her. I think she felt secure at our school. I'm glad I had her in my class. I'll miss her next year!" I must add that Mrs. Glenn is one of the most caring and supportive teachers I have ever known, and I am confident that her role as a good mentor contributed a great deal to the transformation of this child. Mrs. Glenn has many other success stories as well. It certainly can be argued that most difficult children do not make such sudden and dramatic changes as in the example cited. Some do, but most do not. In fact, statistics show that difficult children usually continue to remain difficult for quite some time. I believe it can be observed, however, that when the important adults in the lives of these children are consistent in communicating their care and their strong belief in the child, these children eventually do turn around and model the aspirations of their mentors. Check it out and you'll find it's true! It's kind of like a seed that's planted in the soil. We don't see the results right away, but eventually with proper care, adequate water and sunshine, a healthy plant will spring forth.

HOME-SCHOOL READING PROJECT

Here is an effective project to involve parents in helping their children learn to read. Children are highly motivated to do more reading and parents really praise the project.

Introductory Comments I used the Home-School Reading Project for several years and in three different schools to motivate children to spend more time reading books and to improve their reading skills. It was always a very popular activity with over 90% of our children participating on a voluntary basis. This project also helped parents gain a lot of confidence and take more pride in their school In this report I can only share how I organized and coordinated the project. I'm sure it will be necessary to make adaptations to match the particular needs and resources in your building and school system. In addition to a few organizational details, I will share guidelines provided for teachers, a letter to parents announcing the project, a book report form, and the Three Way Contract which was signed by teacher, parent, and child to begin the project. I will also share information about the evaluation of the project. Organizational Details 1. I used the Home-School Reading Project for children in grades 1-3. The time period was approximately five weeks. Children in grades two and three started right after the Christmas break, first grade children started right after the Spring break. This gave them a little more time to gain additional reading skills before beginning the project. 2. Only books with short stories that can be read in one evening are used in the project. Our school system Reading Department provided the books for my schools. You may not be that lucky. I recommend that approximately 40 books be provided for each classroom involved in the project. It may help to divide the books into two groups of easy and not so easy in order to match them to the reading skills of your children. If you cannot get help from the reading department in your school system, check the resources in your own school library or you might consider checking with the public library. You may be surprised by what they are willing to do to help in this project. 3. You must come up with some method to keep an accurate count of the number of books children read. I recommend a simple chart be posted in the classroom that will be updated daily as children return their book reports to school. Some teachers also like to keep a sheet on each child listing the books they have read so as not to send the same book home twice. This, however, is extra work, and children can usually remember which books they have already read. You can also keep track by checking the book reports in their book report folder. 4. Our school provides large envelopes in which children carried their books and book report forms home each evening. This helped protect the books and also helped when children misplaced them. Names were on the envelope. Children really seemed to take pride in carrying their book envelops home each evening and returning them to school the next day. Parents sign the book report form verifying that their child read the book to them. 5. If you run the project for five weeks, I'd require that approximately 12 books be read in order to participate in the balloon launch which is scheduled at the end of the project as a celebration and a reward for those who participate. Children usually will read one book for every day of the project but requiring only 12 books will make an allowance for those few children who are struggling but still put forth a reasonable amount of effort because they want to participate in the balloon launch. 6. Check in your area ahead of time on details of renting helium tanks, the amount needed, etc. Inflating and preparing balloons for launch is not a complicated procedure but you will need a few extra hands when the big day arrives. Balloons must be launched the same day they are inflated, preferably within a couple hours after inflation. Tags are attached to balloons by string with a message which reads something like this: "Hello, My name is_____________________. I'm a third grader at (Name of School). I read (20) books in five weeks. Please return this card so I can win a prize. Thank you." The child's name and school address are included on the card. I always laminated these tags to protect them from the weather. Tags are often returned months and even years later. I gave some kind of prize for every card returned. Here is a handout provided for teachers when beginning the project. Suggestions for Teachers This project will motivate children to want to spend more time reading books, and will involve parents in the reading activities of their children. Both of these goals are important and should increase the child's interest in reading books as well as improve his/her reading skills. The following suggestions are recommended for teachers: 1. Encourage every child to complete the three-way contract so they can enter the project and qualify to launch a balloon. Inspire as much enthusiasm as possible for the project. Send additional contracts home if they loose the original. 2. Come up with a system of checking out books before it is time to go home at the end of the day. Children will also need a new book report form each day. This activity may take 15 minutes the first few days until you establish a routine. Books go home Monday through Thursday but not on Friday. Place both the book and book report form in the large envelope that has been provided. Make sure the child's name is on the envelope. 3. Keep a chart posted and updated each day indicating the number of books each child has read. File book reports in folders for each child and hold them until the end of the project period. You may want to use them to make a booklet at the end of the project. 4. It will take approximately 30 minutes each evening for the average child to read a book and make a book report. Please keep additional homework at a minimum during the five weeks of this project. 5. Remind children to take good care of the books. They should always be kept in the large envelope that is provided for protection. If a child looses or damages one book he may continue in the program. If he looses or damages two books, the parent must pay for the second book in order for the child to continue in the program. 6. At the conclusion of the project, please return books according to the instructions from the Reading Department in the original bag in which you received them. Thank you for being willing to participate in this project. It will take additional time and attention on your part, but I'm confident that you will also recognize and be pleased with the benefits of the project. Letter To Parents Announcing the Project Dear Second and Third Grade Parents: This could be the most important letter you will receive from school this year! It introduces our Home-School Reading project. We believe this project will help many of our boys and girls become better readers. Is it important to you that your child becomes a better reader? Of course, we know your answer is a big, "YES!" and most parents want to know if there is anything they can do to help. "YES," again. There definitely is something you can do to help. We believe that all children at (Name of School) receive proper reading instruction from qualified teachers; however, many children progress more slowly then they should, because they do not put in enough practice time reading books. Of course, it should be enjoyable, but practice, practice, practice is very important in the early states of reading instruction. Children learn to read by reading! How can you help? Please read on. The primary purpose of the Home-School Reading project is to motivate children to spend more time reading books and to enjoy doing it. You, the parent, are the key person in the project because your assignment is to listen to your child read a story each evening and to help him/her make a book report. You will soon discover that a second benefit from this project is the 15-30 minutes each evening that you and your child will enjoy together. Here are some guidelines, which apply: 1. The project will last for five weeks, from __________through __________. Your child will bring home each evening, Monday through Thursday, a large envelope containing a storybook and a book report sheet. Please sign the book report form when completed indicating that your child has read the book to you. 2. Children who read 12 or more books during the 20 days of the project will be rewarded by participating in an exciting BALLOON LAUNCH at the close of the project! Your child's name and school address will be attached to the balloon with a note requesting that the finder return it to school. Children will receive a prize if their balloon is found and returned to school. 3. It is estimated that it will take approximately 15 minutes for children to read the storybook to you and about 15 minutes to complete the book report. Please arrange a quiet setting where you can be alone together and give them all the help they need. Tell them words that may be difficult, and for variety, it is O.K. if you to read part of the story to them, especially if it is one of the larger or more difficult books. You also may help your child with the book report, but he/she must do the actual writing and/or drawing the picture. If either you or your child need a break before the evening's work is complete, take it. This time that you spend together should be a joy and not a burden. Thank you for being interested in helping your child become a better reader and for being willing to participate in this project. Please sign and return the three-party contract that is necessary before your child can begin. This is a voluntary project but we are hoping for 100% participation and are very excited about the positive impact this project will have on our children. Please feel free to call if you have any questions. Sincerely, Principal's Signature Sample copy of Three Way Contract This contract should be spread out on one full page when sent to parents. NAME OF SCHOOL Home-School Reading Project Three Way Contract Teacher: I promise to try very hard to help all my students learn to read to their best potential. I will send storybooks home each evening during this special Home-School Reading project. ________________________ Teacher's Signature Parent: I promise to try very hard to encourage my child to do his/her best work in school. I will try to listen to my child read a story each evening during the Home-School Reading project. _____________________ Parent's Signature Student: I promise to never give up trying to become a better reader. I will work very hard in school and listen to my teacher. I will try to read a story to my parents each evening during the Home-School Reading project. ______________________ Student's Signature Sample Book Report Form: This report should be on one full page leaving space for children to write their sentences or draw a picture about the book at the bottom of the report. (NAME OF SCHOOL)'S HOME-SCHOOL READING PROJECT Name of Reporter ________________________________ Book________________________________________ Author ____________________________ List the main characters: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ In the space below write sentences that tell about your favorite part of the story or you may draw a picture about the story if you like. Evaluation of the Home-School Reading Project I usually ask both parents and children to evaluate the project. An evaluation form is sent to parents asking them to rate the project as very good, good, fair, or poor. Space is also provided on the form for comments. The response is always very positive. For example, to write this report I selected one evaluation by random and found that in that particular year out of 89 parents who responded to the evaluation form, 77 rated the project as very good, 10 rated it as good, and 2 as fair. There were also dozens of glowing comments. Here are a few of them. 1. The program gave us special time together, that we didn't have before. 2. I think that this project helped children want to read more and it also helped them learn to do book reports. 3. My son enjoys reading a lot more than he used to. I read to him a few times. But he preferred doing the reading. I am very much pleased! 4. Children enjoy doing schoolwork if there is a challenge or reward. Learning to enjoy reading will help them in everything else they do in school or out of school. 5. My daughter knows how to write a book report now, putting words into sentences. Near the end of the project, she didn't want me to help her at all with her report. 6. I wish we could keep the program going. 7. I think my child can read better now than she did before. 8. I realize now that I have to spend more time with my son to improve in his school work. 9. My two younger sons, ages 3 and 5, enjoyed hearing their sister read. Children are also asked to evaluate the project by completing the sentence, "I like the Home-School Reading Project because…" Here are just a few of their responses. 1. I like reading and drawing. It is fun. My mother and father like it too. 2. You have something to do at night and it will help you learn to read. 3. I think kids like me should show their parents what they have learned. That's why I like it. 4. I like to read books and the books are funny and my mom helps me too. 5. That is how you learn to read better and I'm glad I started it. I like to draw the picture at the bottom. 6. It is fun plus you learn to communicate with books. 7. I read 15 books and my mom is very proud of me. I hope my balloon comes back. 8. I will grow up to be a good reader like any other person in the world. Of course, I always include a report of these evaluations in our school newsletter, writing out the comments of parents and children. This become a very good public relations tool giving parents an opportunity to brag on their school.

MENTORS FOR CHILDREN PROGRAM

This is a super plan to recruit and train volunteers to serve as mentors for children who have problems. It really helps!

Introductory Comments Volunteers who are faithful and committed are hard to come by in most schools, perhaps all schools. Here is a program that will attract and retain more volunteers because they will realize the valuable contribution they are making to children and will feel good about their role. Those who volunteer for this program are asked to commit themselves to come to school for a minimum of once each week for a two hour period, either a.m. or p.m. To help simplify scheduling, volunteers are asked to come at the same time and day each week. During this time they will work with four individual children, approximately 30 minutes each. How and Where Do We Recruit Volunteers? It's definitely true that parents are finding it more and more difficult to volunteer at school because of the many pressures that are on the family today. Quite often, however, a parent registering their first child in kindergarten will be eager to volunteer some time at school, especially the first year. Even those who have preschool children at home will find a grandparent or someone to take care of these children during their two-hour period once a week. The best time to question parents about volunteering is when they first register a child at school. Even those who are unable to volunteer appreciate the fact that they are wanted, and it helps them establish a special bond with the school if they are approached properly. It's nice to feel you are wanted and needed. Grandparents are another source of quality volunteers. Some of them have more time to volunteer than parents. Of course, that is not always true. Many grandparents are carrying a very heavy load and will not be available, but those who are available usually are very willing to help when given special encouragement to do so. Many grandparents feel that something is missing in their lives now that their family is gone and spending some quality time with younger children at school ministers to them as well as to the children. I think a good way to approach grandparents is to have children in your school write a letter something like the following. Dear Grandmother or Grandfather: Our school needs volunteers. Can you come to school for about two hours each week to help some of our kids. Please circle, Yes or No. Please write your phone number so my principal can call you. _________________ Thanks, I love you. Signed, Bill Of course, the school should furnish the postage stamps to mail the letters. One way to encourage children to write this letter and recruit grandparents is to promise them that on the day their grandparent comes to school, they will be allowed to get out of class for 30 minutes to visit with them. This also will be a strong lure for the grandparent. On the day of the their visit the grandparent will spend 30 minutes with their grandchild and 30 minutes each with three other children. I also recommend that you send a letter to local churches and senior citizen centers explaining your Mentors For Children Program and requesting volunteers that will commit to coming to school once a week for a two hour period. These are good sources that are seldom tapped. Please don't become discourage if you fail to round up hundreds of volunteers. This program will work if you land only a couple, and quite often one quality volunteer, when he/she sees the value of this program, will recruit others from among their friends and acquaintances. Another possibility is to select older children in the building to serve with some supervision as mentors for first and second graders. How Do We Identify Children For the Mentor Program? Every child needs a mentor, but especially difficult children. Difficult children either have or are on the road to having a very low self-esteem. It may not show but it's true. I encourage teachers to identify the most difficult children in their classrooms; children with emotional problems, hyperactive children, children with learning disabilities, children with negative attitudes, children who are loners, etc. I have on occasions identified children for the program who were retained at the end of the previous year. These children really need a mentor and will benefit from this program. It will not be difficult for teaches to identify children, and usually teachers will be very happy for them to be out of the classroom for 30 minutes a couple times a week. Right? Don't worry about difficult children misbehaving for the volunteer. It seldom happens. There's something about the one on one relationship that does away with most discipline problems. There is a way, however, for volunteers in the program to report a discipline problem should it occur. What Does the Mentor and Child Do For Thirty Minutes? Here are several activities I recommend. You will think of others that are applicable to your school and resources. 1. Each session begins with children repeating the following affirmation after the volunteer. Having children repeat these words at the beginning of each session can be likened to planting seeds into the soil that one-day can become a beautiful garden. The volunteer states, "Please repeat after me…" and reads one line at a time, pausing for the child to repeat the line of affirmation before moving to the next. "I care about everybody all the time. I care about my parents. I care about my teachers. I care about my friends. And I care about myself. I care about everybody all the time." 2. For the second activity in each session, the volunteer will share with their children one reason that they are somebody special. During the first week, all children in the program will hear the same reason as to why they are somebody special. The same is true for the second week and up through the fifth week. After the fifth week, the cycle begins again for another five weeks. This is a valuable activity designed to help raise the self-esteem of children and should be continued throughout the school year. First Week--The mentor reads or states, "You are somebody special for a lot of reasons. Each week I'm going to read one reason that you are somebody special. Here's the one for this week. You're special because God made you to be different. There's no one else in this world exactly like you. There's no one who has the same fingerprints as you. There's no one else who looks exactly like you or thinks exactly like you. You're different just like I'm different, and that makes us both special. Wouldn't this be as boring world if every flower looked alike, every house, ever car, etc. It would also be boring if all the people in the world were the same, so let's be glad we're different. That makes everybody special." Second Week--The mentor reads, "This week I'm going to give you another reason why you are somebody special. Do you remember the one from last week? That's right. You are special because God made you different. Now, here's one for this week. You are special because you have great potential. I know it's hard for some kids to do school work. Sometimes they get mixed up in their mind, and think they are dumb. That's not true! You can learn to read and do math. You can learn to do school work because you have great potential. Just keep trying and never give up, no matter what happens. Albert Einstein became a famous scientist, but when he was a kid in school, he had a hard time getting his lessons. He just kept trying, and look what happened to him. He became one of the smartest men in the whole world. You are special because you have great potential. Don't forget it! Third Week--The mentor reads, "Do you remember the reason from last week that you're somebody special? That's right, you are special because you have great potential. Here's the one for this week. You are somebody special because somebody in this world cares about you, and that's important. It might be your parents or grandparents, a teacher or someone else, but somebody in this world really cares about you. Sometimes you may think that nobody cares, but that's not true. Sometimes people who care make mistakes, and forget. They say things and do things they shouldn't, but they still care. We know this is true because later they will try to help you and be your friend." The volunteer than says, "And by the way, I want you to know that I care about you. That's why I come to school each week to spend this time with you." Fourth Week--The mentor reads, "Do you remember the reason from last week that you are somebody special? That's right. You are special because somebody cares about you. The reason you are special this week is about the same, but it's a little different. You are special because somebody believes in you. In order to become a winner most kids need two things. First, they need somebody to believe in them, and second, they need to believe in themselves." Then the volunteer might say, "(Name of Child), I hope you will allow me do be one of those special people who believes in you. If I promise to believe in you will you promise to believe in yourself? Good, it's a deal. Let's shake on it. Fifth Week--The mentor reads, "Do you remember the reason from last week that you are special? That's right. You are special because somebody believes in you. Now, before I give you this week's reason, I must ask a question. Are you trying to be a positive person? If you are that makes you somebody really special. You are special because you are a positive person. This world needs more positive people like you who really care about others. Everybody has problems, but positive people don't give up when they have problems. They just keep trying and keep believing that everything will work out O.K. and it does! 3. After the volunteer has led children in repeating the "I care" affirmations and has gone over the reason for the week that they are somebody special, other activities must be planned for the 30 minutes session. These two beginning experiences are only starters or warm ups and take only a few minutes. Of course, it is also valuable to provide time for children to talk with their mentor at the beginning of each session if they have something to share or if they are in a talkative mood. The volunteer could get the conversation going by asking, "Do you have anything that you want to share with me today before we get started with our work?" These children usually have learned that most of the important people adults in their lives are too busy to listen. To find someone who will listen is a valuable experience for them, one that they will look forward to each week. Now, here are a few suggested activities for the mentor and child to do together after the warm ups are over. Volunteers will think of others. a. Volunteers should ask each child to select a book from the school library each week to bring with them to the next mentor conference. Children can read for their mentor and sometimes the mentor can read to children. One goal for each volunteer should be to instill in each child a deep appreciation for good books. b. Many children need assistance in completing their assignments. Children can bring some of their work to the session and receive help from their mentor. c. The school should provide educational games for volunteers to use as needed in this sharing time with children. I found the electronic Speak and Read, and Speak and Math games were very satisfactory for this purpose. d. Volunteers will need assistance at the beginning to arrange for activities during this 30-minute session, but after a few weeks they usually become very creative and no longer need assistance. How Do You Get Organized? To get things off to a good start I tried to meet with volunteers as a group to provide information and explain their role. However, often it was necessary to meet with them individually. A handout is also provided to cover the specifics of their job. Here are some of the concerns covered in that first meeting with volunteers and in the handout. 1. Share something about the children with whom volunteers will be working. You might include, "All of these children need someone who really cares and who will take a personal interest in them. On a one-to-one basis, you have an advantage even over the teacher to be that special person in their lives who will really make a difference." 2. Provide a schedule for volunteers that includes names of their four children, room numbers, the times they will work with children, etc. I think it is good to assign two volunteers to the same set of four children. For example, one volunteer can work with the children on Tuesday and the other on Thursday or Friday. Also, it's especially helpful if one of the volunteers happens to be absent during a particular week. 3. Explain the details of the job. This will vary from school to school. Here's a sample of what might be shared verbally and in a handout. a. When you arrive, please sign in. You will find a notebook on top of the desk in the volunteer's room. b. You will also find a volunteer's badge on top of the desk. This will identify you as a volunteer. c. Make a note of your schedule for the day. The schedule is also on top of the desk by the sign in notebook. d. Go to the classroom and ask the teacher for your first child according to your schedule. e. Don't forget to start each session with the "I care" affirmation. Also share the one reason for the week that your assigned children are somebody special. (Note: Copies of these materials must be given to volunteers and/or posted in the volunteer's Room.) f. Before sending children back to the classroom, please complete the report to the teacher and send it back with the child. (Note: A copy of this report sheet is on the last page of this chapter.) g. Don't forget to return volunteer's badge to the top of the desk. Thanks for caring about our children. See you next week! What is the Classroom Teacher's Role? After meeting with volunteers a handout is prepared to bring teachers up to date. This information can be shared in a staff meeting; however, I think it's also important for teachers to have this information in writing. Note to Teachers: Our meeting with volunteers for the Mentor Program went very well. I believe this program has great potential of helping those children who have been identified. Here is a review of how the program will work and guidelines for teachers that have children in the program. 1. Children will be picked up from the classroom per the attached schedule. This is an opportunity for you to warmly greet volunteers and to thank them from time to time for their help. A large volunteer badge will identify volunteers. 2. Please make certain that children identified have selected a book from the library to take with them to the mentor conference or you may send work if you feel this will be beneficial for the child. Feel free to converse with the volunteer about any special instructions. 3. Children will return to classrooms on their own and will bring a report sheet from the volunteer. Please read and initial this report sheet and send it to the principal's office by the end of the day. 4. If a child in the program is absent on a particular day, please inform the office so we can provide a substitute child from another classroom. Volunteer's Report Sheet--Mentors For Children Program Please send this report to the classroom teacher with child at the end of the mentor conference. Day and Date __________________ Child's Name ______________________________ Room Number_________ 1. Were there any behavior problems? Yes _____ No _______ If yes, please indicate below something about the problem. 2. How do you rate the overall response of your child during this session? Good ____ Fair____ Poor_____ ___________________________ Signature of Volunteer Teacher's initials and comments, if any: Please forward this report sheet to the principal after it ahs been read by the classroom teacher.

HONOR ASSEMBLIES

Here is a report on the why, when, who and how of good, effective honor assemblies.

Introductory Comments There is some debate regarding the place of honor assemblies in the elementary school. Are they right or wrong, good or bad? Of course, I believe they are both right and good and that they can become a very beneficial part of the elementary school program or I wouldn't be sharing this report. I do acknowledge, however, that there can be a down side to this activity if it is not organized and managed properly. Honor assemblies that result in hurt feeling by either children or parents are not right, and honor assemblies that approach chaos are not good. It would be better not to have honor assemblies than to have honor assemblies that must be endured rather than enjoyed. If children who come forward to receive recognition are embarrassed because classmate laugh or jeer, that can be devastating. If disruptive noise is at such a level as to embarrass visitors and guests, that can be very damaging to the image of your school. I believe, however, that honor assemblies can be organized and managed in such a way as to avoid these pitfalls and to enable your children and school to reap benefits from this worthwhile activity. I hope this report on the why, when, who, and how of honor assemblies will be helpful to you and your school. Honor Assemblies, Why? The purpose of honor assemblies is to give recognition to those who have worked hard and achieved success in certain areas. It is a time and a way to acknowledge the successes of our children, and we must always seek and find appropriate ways to do that. Of course, recognition given to children during honor assemblies can also serve as a reinforcement, as a catalyst toward even greater accomplishments in their future. It can encourage and challenge not only the children receiving recognition but others as well. I have seen this happen many times. Honor assemblies also are a way to communicate to parents the accomplishments of their children. If fact, I first initiated honor assemblies at the request of parents. At the beginning of my career I did not have the foresight to see the value of this worthwhile activity. It began several years later when a few parents on our PTA Board requested that I give it a try. I'm glad I did! Every year since that time both children and parents in my schools have looked forward with anticipation to our regularly scheduled honor assemblies. I have found that when parents take pride in their children's work and accomplishments, it really does something for their children. If nothing more, it is a tremendous boost to their self-image, and it really shows! Honor Assemblies, When? Honor assemblies should be scheduled within a week or two after each grading period. If you are on a nine weeks-grading period, this means three times a year, not counting the last grading period. I believe that three honor assemblies per year are the right number. Four is too many. If your school system is on a six weeks grading period, I recommend that assemblies be scheduled either at the end of the first, second, and third grading periods or at the end of the first, third, and fifth grading periods. Also, it is best not to have a regularly scheduled honor assembly at the end of the school year. There are too many others things that will interfere and take away from the value of this activity. There are other ways in which you can give special recognition to children at the end of the year. I will make a suggestion of one of these ways at the end of this report. Honor Assemblies, Who? The most important question that needs to be addressed has to do with determining who will receive recognition in your honor assemblies. Guidelines must be established that are fair and can be consistently followed. I tried to come up with a system that would assure that large numbers of children received honors. I believe this is important for children, and I believe it is necessary in order to have effective and successful honor assemblies. Too often, only a few children from a very large assembly receive recognition and that can be very discouraging and damaging to those who do not receive an award. I recommend that children receive recognition in the following areas: 1. All A's and B's on their grade card during the grading period. 2. Perfect Attendance during the grading period. 3. Strong effort in all areas during the grading period. 4. Special Recognition during the grading period. These four areas of recognition are balanced and they are fair to all children. They also assure that large numbers of children from each classroom will receive recognition. Some children are not intellectually capable of achieving all A's and B's, just as some children are not physically capable of achieving perfect attendance. There is a balance here, however, because many children will find themselves capable of receiving recognition in at least one of these two areas. Of course, the third area of strong effort is equally accessible to all children. It is also good to include in the honor assembly the area of special recognition for additional honors received both within and outside the school. Teachers and parents should be consistently requested to identify such children. This can become a very exciting part of the assembly. Honor Assemblies, How? First, you must determine what token to give children in recognition of their accomplishments. For the last several years I have always issued certificates because they were more convenient. Many schools, however, are more creative, and come up with a variety of exciting items for children. I really do not believe that your choice of a token is that important. The actual event is what's important, especially once the tradition of honor assemblies becomes established in your school. Just keep in mind that you will be recognizing several children from each classroom three times during the year. This means that expense is a factor to consider in your selection of an appropriate token of recognition. If you decide to use certificates here's a recommend procedure. At the end of each of the first three grading periods I give each classroom teacher fifteen (15) blank certificates to complete and return to the office in preparation of the upcoming honor assembly. Teachers request additional certificates as needed or return those not needed. Many classes often give more than fifteen certificates. Here is a sample form of instructions that can be shared with teachers. Note to Teachers: It's time again to prepare for Honor Assemblies. Please complete the attached certificates to recognize children from your classroom who have achieved success in the areas listed. Return these to the office when completed. If you need additional certificates, let the office know. Also, please return any unused certificates. Certificates will be given in the areas listed below. This information plus the date of the last day of the grading period, along with your signature should be included on each child's certificate. 1. All A's and B's 2. Perfect Attendance 3. Strong Effort 4. Special Recognition The next step is to inform parents. As soon as teachers complete and return certificates to the office for their classroom, letters are sent to parents who have children that will be recognized in the honor assembly. No general announcement is made of the assembly except by this letter. The letter sent to parents may read something like this: Dear Parents: Congratulations! Your child, (Name of Child), has achieved an important accomplishment during the past grading period. He/She will receive a certificate of achievement in a special Honor Assembly at our school that is scheduled for (Date and Time). We hope that you will be able to attend this assembly along with grandparents and other special people in your child's life. Once again, congratulations on the success of your child and we hope to see you at the assembly, Sincerely, Principals signature Another important consideration for successful honor assemblies is scheduling and timing. I believe that all honor assemblies should be kept short, no longer than 20 minutes. You are there for only one purpose, to recognize children in the presence of their parents and classmates. Assemblies that are too long take away from that purpose. I also believe that honor assemblies must be kept small in number with only a few classrooms in each assembly. I normally divide our honor assemblies into three sessions; kindergarten and first grade in one session, second and third trades in a second session, and fourth and fifth grades in the final session. This makes for a full day but it is well worth it because of the good feelings enjoyed by those who are a part of the assembly. The time has arrived. The designated classrooms and their teachers are seated in the assembly, parents of children who will receive certificates are seated in chairs in back of the assembly, you have returned the completed honor certificates to classroom teachers for distribution in this assembly. How do you proceed? Of course, the principal will express a few words of welcome to parents. You will let them know that you are proud, along with them, of the accomplishments of their children. You will also share the four areas in which children will receive certificates. After your introductory remarks, you will ask one of the classroom teachers to come to the microphone to call off the names of his/her children who have received certificates. The teacher will read the name of each child from the certificate and then give the certificate to the principal. The principal, in turn, will shake the hands of children as they come forward to receive their certificate. Children receiving certificates will form a line in front of the stage facing the audience. The audience will hold their applause until all children receiving certificates from this first classroom are standing in front of the stage. Children return to their seats after receiving recognition, and another teacher is asked to come forward to share the names of children in his/her classroom who have earned certificates. This procedure continues until every classroom is recognized. Parents are thanked once again for coming, children are congratulated once again for their accomplishments, and the assembly is dismissed. That's it. Short, sweet and simple. Chalk it up as another successful honor assembly in terms of its value for children and in terms of the good will it has earned your school and staff. Other Considerations 1. In giving certificates for all A's and B's, we normally excluded handwriting from this requirement. This is a decision your staff will need to make. 2. In giving perfect attendance certificates, if children were present for part of the day, we gave them credit for the entire day. This accommodated those children who had to leave early or arrive late because of doctor's appointments, etc. 3. We also always listed names of children in our school newsletters that received certificates in honor assemblies. 4. In addition to the three honor assemblies per year, I recommend that schools also identify one boy and one girl from each classroom on a monthly basis for a Student of the Month Award. This award is for good citizens who maintain a positive attitude, are kind to others, etc. This honor can only be earned once during the school year so that others in the classroom will have an opportunity each month. I usually took pictures of the students of the month and posted them on a special bulletin board. Of course, these children also receive recognition during your regular honor assemblies under the special recognition category. 5. If you want to do something really special for students of the month, share with them that this is one of the highest honors given by their school, and that all students of the month will receive further recognition in a special evening program at the end of the school year designed especially for them. At that special meeting with only students of the month and their parents present, you can share with parents that these children are the best in the school. When some smile in disbelief, you can smile along with them and add, "Well, at lest they earned that honor during one month out of the school year." Teachers will call their students of the month to the front one at a time in the same manner as in the monthly honor assemblies. The principal will shake hands with these children and present them with some special token of recognition (ribbon, plaque, etc.). This will make a very good school-year ending for these children and their parents!

AN OLD FASHIONED SPELLING BEE

I used this item as a PTA evening program. It is arranged in a special format that everyone loves and you will have to repeat it each year because of its popularity.

This activity is one that everyone (parents, teachers, and children) will look forward to each year. Many parents have fond memories of participating in this activity during their school days and they become very pleased and excited when their children are involved in the same. Preliminary Activities What you do to lead up to your annual spelling bee can be just as important and as exciting as the actual event. It can be even more valuable from the standpoint of the learning that takes place because it will involve a larger number of participants. Here are approaches I have taken. 1. First, announce the date and time of the Annual PTA Spelling Bee and the prizes that will be awarded to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners. Our PTA usually provides some kind of award for every participant, but a special prize to the top three final participants. Prizes vary from year to year but have included watches, calculators, gift certificates for books, toys, etc. 2. Next, share how the contestants will be selected to participate in the annual spelling bee. My schools have been mostly a K-5 organization and I included 4th and 5th graders in the bee. There were, however, a few years when I involved 3rd graders with equal success in a K-3 organization. Once the grade levels have been determined, here's a selection process that works very well. A. Arrange a school assembly spelling bee to determine the boy finalists for the PTA annual spelling bee. Each 4th-5th-grade classroom will present their best four (4) boy spellers in this assembly. These boys have been selected because they were finalists in their own classroom spelling bees. All 4th-5th-grade students make up the audience in this assembly. I usually tell them that the boys on stage represent their classroom. Of course everyone wants their classroom to win and this becomes a very exciting assembly. There can be no noise or disturbance permitted, however, in this assembly because of special rules which I will explain later. Now, here's the important thing to announce in this assembly. The last two boys standing from each classroom will have the honor of representing their classroom in the annual PTA spelling bee. B. Approximately two weeks later, arrange a school assembly to determine the girl finalists for the PTA annual spelling bee. The same procedure takes place as with the boys except now it's the girl's turn. The value of this two step selection process is that it assures an equal representation of boys and girls in the final spelling bee and it also provides for equal representation (2 boys and 2 girls) from each 4th and 5th grade classroom. C. I must admit that there were several years when I just did not seem to find the time to provide the two assemblies for preliminary spelling bees. I'm sure you know what I mean. During those years, I just asked classroom teachers to select the best boy and girl spellers (two of each) from their classroom by classroom spelling bees. This is a simple and fair process, but the above procedure creates more excitement and provides more learning opportunities. It is definitely recommended if you can work into your busy schedule. Advertising and Creating Excitement for the Annual PTA Spelling Bee Classrooms can make posters to hang in halls supporting their four room champs, advertisement can be made in community newspapers, etc., but here's the one best thing you can do to draw a crowd. Send a letter to the parents of children involved with a message similar to the following: Dear Parents: Congratulations! Your Child, ________________________, is one of the best spellers in his/her classroom and has earned the honor of participating in the Annual PTA Spelling Bee at (name of school) on (date and time). We are asking parents of each participant to invite relatives, neighbors, and friends to come to this grand event to support their child and champion speller. The more quests you invite, the better. The supporters you bring will each be introduced to our audience and given the opportunity to applaud and cheer for your child. Please complete the form below so we can properly plan for the evening. Once again, congratulations upon the accomplishment of your child. We are looking forward to seeing you during the seeing at our annual PTA Spelling Bee. Sincerely, Principal's Signature ……………………………………………………………………………………… ____ Yes, our child will be able to participate in the annual PTA Spelling Bee at (name of school) on (date and time). The following number of guests is planning to be present to support our child: ____________ ____ No, we're sorry. Our child will not be able to participate. Name of Child:__________________________ Room Number: __________ Organization and Set Up 1. Approximately 24 chairs (depending on the number of spellers) are placed on the stage in a large semi-circle. Nametags with room numbers are placed on these chairs, one for each participant. These are large tags with a string attached so they will hang from the shoulders of participants when it comes time for the spelling bee to begin. 2. One microphone and stand is place center stage. Each participant will walk to this microphone when it is his/her time to spell a word. 3. A chair facing the stage is set up with a second microphone that will be used by the person pronouncing the words, probably the principal. I usually also provide additional chairs for two teacher to sit, one on each side of me to serve as judges. They also listen to help determine if words are spelled correctly. Time to Begin! Here's the dialogue I usually use to get things started after the boys and girls participating in the spelling bee have been instructed to go to the stage and find the chair where their name tag is located. At this time they also place the nametag around their neck. "We have 24 champions on the stage. All of them are winners. They have already won in their respective classrooms and in the semi-finals when classes competed against each other in our school assemblies. Every participant will receive a ribbon this evening for taking part in our annual spelling bee. The last three standing will also receive a nice watch provide by our PTA. I also want to take pictures of the last three standing along with their family members and friends to place in our school newspaper. "There are two things I want to say to our spellers to help prepare you mentally and emotionally for tonight's spelling bee. 1. Decide right now that if you are not among the last three participants standing, you will not let yourself feel bad. You should continue to feel good about yourself because you have already become a winner by earning the privilege of being a part of this spelling bee. Two things are necessary to win a spelling bee. One is that you must be a good speller and that you are! You have already proven it. The other thing is that it helps to have the good luck and not getting the harder words. Of course, I will pronounce all words in order as they appear on my list. 2. Now, after sharing those words to encourage you just in case you are not one of the last three standing, I still want you to believe that you can win. That's important. If you think you won't win, you probably won't, but if you believe you will, you'll have a better change. Believe in yourself, do your best, and good luck! "Now here's an important part of our evening program to which I always look forward, and it's a good way for our spellers to warm up a little for the job that's ahead of them. Starting with the first speller seated on the left, I will ask our champs one at a time to step up to the microphone so that I can introduce them to or audience. When each speller comes to the microphone, those who are here this evening to support them should also stand (parents, neighbors, friends, etc.) because after I introduce the speller, he/she will than introduce you to our audience. I will then ask those standing who have been introduced by your champ to cheer, clap, or do whatever you want to show your support for the speller you are backing this evening. "Here are rules for the audience (shared after each speller has been introduced, has introduced his/her supporters, and has been applauded, etc.). 1. Total silence. Do not applaud when a child gets a word right. I know this is a difficult rule to keep but it's very important for the success of this spelling bee. Applauding when a child spells a word correctly can distract the next child who will step to the microphone. 2. When a child misses a word and I give the correct spelling, then everyone should applaud to acknowledge the good job the speller has done up to that point. As I said earlier every child on the stage is already a champ and has worked very hard to become a part of our annual spelling bee. So, when it comes their time to leave the stage, they really deserve your applause. It also may help a little to ease the pain they will feel for not spelling a word correctly. "Now, here are rules for our spellers. 1. Make sure you hear the word and understand what the word is before you start to spell it. If I pronounce house and you spell horse because that's what you though I said, I cannot give you credit. I don't require you to do so, but it's a good habit to pronounce the word before you start to spell it. That will help you to be sure you are spelling the correct word. 2. Once you start spelling a word, you can stop in the middle and start over if you like, but you cannot change any letters you have already spelled. You cannot start over in order to correct letters that were incorrect. For example, for a word like elephant you can say, ele…elephant, but you cannot say, ela…elephant. 3. You should say capital if the word begins with a capital letter; however, I won't count the word wrong if you forget to do this. 4. Fourth graders are seated to the left and at the first part of the semi-circle on the stage. I will pronounce words to you taken from the fourth grade spelling book, and for our fifth graders I will pronounce words taken from the fifth grade spelling book. This will happen only during the first part of the spelling bee. I know that I will never be able to spell some of you down by using words only from your spelling book and for that reason I have a list of more difficult words that I will use later. When I get to that list all fourth and fifth graders will spell words from he same list. 5. When you miss a word, I will give you the correct spelling. You will then leave the stage and sit with your parents for the remainder of the spelling bee. The next speller who comes to the microphone will be asked to spell the next word on the list. 6. When only two spellers remain on the stage the rules change a little. If a speller misses a word, he/she will not leave the sage. The same word will be given to the other speller. In order to win, the other speller must spell that word correctly and also spell correctly the next word on the list. 7. You have 30 seconds to spell a word if you need it. After 20 seconds, I will tell you that you have 10 seconds remaining to spell the word. Your 30 seconds starts when you say the first letter or when I say your time starts now. 8. Any questions from spellers or audience?" Other Considerations 1. During assemblies for preliminary spelling bees to determine finalists, you should explain the rules for both the audience and spellers just as you will do for the final PTA Spelling Bee. Anyone from the audience who breaks these rules must leave the assembly. This will make for a successful assembly and will also provide a good practice session for all participants. 2. During both the preliminary and final spelling bees, I usually give each participant a free word during the first round. If they miss a word on the first round they do not have to leave the stage. This helps ease some of the tension and is really appreciated both by participants and their parents. 3. It is good at the conclusion of the program to have the top three spellers return to the stage so the PTA President can say a few words of appreciation and make an official presentation of the gifts. Then, all spellers are called to the stage to receive their ribbon for participating in the spelling bee. While all participants are on the stage, the principal should remind the audience that every child on the stage is a champ, and ask the audience to give them a standing ovation. 4. If possible, make a video recording of this event. It will be very profitable for classroom use the next several weeks. This recording is also valuable to use the following year to create interest in the upcoming annual PTA Spelling Bee.

A GOOD ENDING

In many schools the last four weeks can get pretty rough. Here's a building-wide activity that will make your next ending the smoothest you've ever experienced. It will help children strive for good behavior right up through the last day of school. Teachers appreciate this activity as well.

Introductory comments Let's face it. The last month of school is difficult! The weather is usually very hot and sticky. Anticipation of the soon approaching summer vacation has captivated the minds and bodies of even our best children. Nearly everyone is both weary and restless at the same time and much of the time sitting on "pins and needles." The name of the game now becomes survival. And in order to survive many adjustments must be made from the normal routine followed during the course of the year. Here are a few which perhaps you try each year: 1. Keep them busy! Use all the psychology you can. "Kids, it's near the end of the year and we've just got to accomplish a lot more work so you will be ready for next year. It's important!" 2. We try to provide a greater variety of activities--more school assemblies, including visiting bands and musical groups from Middle and High Schools--more field trips by bus or even walking trips into the community. We try eating lunch on the front lawn and providing a water hose (supervised) on the playground for children to line up and get a drink. We plan a Field Day, more games, skits, storytelling, extended use of AV materials in the classroom, etc., etc. 3. The list goes on and on of things we try to do just to survive. And what about the last day? That's really a problem! I hate to admit it, but when I was teaching, the thing that seemed to work best for me on the last day was to allow children to bring comic books to school to share, trade, and read during the day. Of course, that was back when comic books were in and at the same time affordable. The point is that we normally do what we have to do in order to survive the last few weeks of school. It is important to recognize, however, that the last few weeks of school, though very difficult, are also very important days. There is a lot of truth in the familiar adage, "All is well that ends well!" Sometimes things can go wrong during the last few days that will emotionally wipe out all the successes some children have experienced during the entire school year. If you can find a way to help children leave your building on the last day with a good feeling on the inside about their school, you have done much to add to their self-esteem and toward their future success in school. I have found that the activity I will share in this report goes as long way in achieving that goal. It not only helps you survive those last few weeks; it also helps a larger number of children keep on target as far as their behavior is concerned, and it especially helps them to leave on the last day feeling good about their school. Of course, these feelings are conveyed to parents and gain you a lot of support from the school community. Fifth Grade Clap Out Before moving to the details of the main activity in this report, I will at this point share another very good last day activity. I call it, "The Fifth Grade Clap Out." This is the last year for fifth graders in your building and the clap out is a good way to honor these children and send them on their way with a good feeling about their school. This is the last event of the last day and everyone looks forward to it, often talking about it many days in advance. In fact, many parents and community members will come to school to participate in the annual "Fifth Grade Clap Out" once it becomes a tradition in your building. It's a very simple activity. Here's how it works. About ten minutes before the dismissal bell, all classrooms line the halls single file on both sides. That is, all classrooms except fifth grade classrooms. They will leave at the regular dismissal bell, and as they make their way toward the exit doors led by their teachers, the entire student body, teachers, parents, etc. will continuously clap in their honor until they have left the building. It is one of the best feelings you will experience and you can be sure there will be a lot of teary eyes. I Had A Good Day Coupons Now, here's the main activity I want to share, that if managed properly, will help your children experience a better last few weeks and an unforgettable last day of school. Some of the details follow: 1. During the last three or four weeks of school, children work each day to earn a coupon called, "I Had A Good Day Coupon." These coupons are highly valued by children. They really want to earn them because these coupons can help children win valuable prizes on the last day of school. In order to receive a coupon from their teacher at the end of the day children must do three things during that day: (1) Stay out of fights. (2) Be a positive person. (3) Get along with their teacher. 2. When children receive a coupon, they sign it and return it to their teacher for safe keeping until a special drawing in an assembly on the last day of school. They are encouraged to keep track of the number of coupons earned. Some teachers use a chart to keep track also. The more coupons earned by children, the greater their chances of winning a nice prize on the last day of school. Every child, however, is guaranteed to win at least one prize even if they have earned only one coupon. 3. It is important to communicate that children must be present on the last day of school in order to win prizes. They cannot collect on their coupons if they are absent the last day. What kind of prizes is awarded and where do you get them? It's a good idea to find a storage area somewhere in the building and collect items throughout the year that will be used for the prize drawing on the last day of school. You really do need a lot of items for this activity, but it's amazing what you are able to accumulate by starting early and by letting it be known that you are open for donations from teachers, parents, businesses in the community, etc. I usually try to collect more items than I can use because it's better to be safe than sorry. Any extras are just held over until next year. Most items will be very inexpensive. They might even be considered worthless to adults but at the same time will be very valuable in the eyes of children. I usually add to what has been donated, if necessary, by purchasing a few items that are attractive to children; candy, toys, games, etc. It helps to include three or four "big ticket items" that are more expensive and will make earning coupons really seem worthwhile to children. If you have the means to do so, it really helps to display many of the prize items for the drawing in a locked showcase during the last few weeks of school. If this is not possible, you should take several pictures, including close-ups, to display on a bulletin board in a high traffic area. How does the coupon drawing work on the last day of school? 1. I usually hold two assemblies. One for primary and one for intermediate grades. It takes abut an hour for each assembly and that will make it necessary to schedule one assembly in the morning and one in the afternoon. If you have a small school you might get by with one assembly. 2. Teachers will submit all coupons that children have earned to the office on the evening before the last day of school. It's important that the child's name and room number be clearly recorded on each coupon. Some teachers prefer brining coupons to the office on a daily basis for safekeeping and that's no problem. Coupons are placed in a box and mixed up as much as possible in preparation for the drawing. If you hold two assemblies, coupons will be placed in two separate boxes. Make sure you get each classroom's coupons in the right box according to the assembly they are scheduled to attend. 3. All prize items are placed on the stage just a few minutes before the assembly begins. Place only half the items on stage at a time if you are holding two assemblies. I put prizes on two large carts the evening before the last day to expedite the process. It takes only a few minutes to roll the cart into the gym and lay the prizes out on the stage. 4. Children have been promised at least one prize if they have earned any coupons at all if they are present on the last day of school. As teachers enter the assembly with their classes, they will receive a bag with their room number that contains a prize for every child in the class. I recommend that this one guaranteed prize be the same for each child in the classroom. If you place a variety of prizes in the bag, there could be a lot of arguing over which item they want, some hurt feelings, etc. Rax's, Wendy's, McDonald's, etc. often will provide several free coupons that could be used for this purpose. Children are then told, "You now have received your one guaranteed prize. Anything else you win will be extra." 5. Explain to children in the assembly that they can win a total of two additional prizes if their coupons are drawn that many times. If their name is drawn a third, forth, fifth time, etc. they have the option of trading in one of their prizes for the item being offered or they may keep what they have. 6. You will need a couple helpers to pass out prizes as children come forward to receive them. This will keep things moving quickly. Children usually sit on the floor in this assembly, but make sure there is a center isle and an isle on each side so they are not delayed in coming to the stage. The idea is to hand out as many prizes as possible during the allotted one hour time period. 7. Show the prize item that will be given before you draw a coupon from the box. It is best to start with the smaller items and save the most popular items until last. Of course you can throw in a relatively big item now and then just to keep things exciting. When a child's name has been drawn and he/she has collected the prize, do not put the coupon back into the box. 8. Don't worry about noise or other disturbances in this assembly. I guarantee this will not be a problem. Yes, there will be a lot of happy noise when items are distributed (laugher, applauding, even loud talking) but that's no problem because when you hold up the next prize to be given away, everyone will be perfectly quiet. Why? They will be waiting, hoping, and listening for their name to be called next. Don't try to stop the noise in between. Have fun right along with them. Just be assured that peace and quiet will return when you hold up the next item for the drawing. Other Considerations 1. Of course you will open the assembly while you have everyone's attention, with positive comments about the good things that have happened during the school year. You will congratulate children for the large number of coupons they have earned, perhaps running your hands through them in the box. You might say, "Every coupon here is important. It means that somebody had a good day and that's not always easy during the last few weeks of school. I am very proud of you and I wish all of you a well-deserved, happy summer vacation!" 2. Individual teachers for their own classroom can also adopt this end of the year activity if it is not used as a total-school activity. In fact, that's where I first got the idea before expanding it to a total-school activity. 3. Here is a sample master sheet of coupons that can be given to teachers to make as many copies as needed each day from the copier. I HAD A GOOD DAY! Name ________________________ Room Number _____________ I HAD A GOOD DAY! Name ________________________ Room Number _____________ I HAD A GOOD DAY! Name ________________________ Room Number _____________ I HAD A GOOD DAY! Name ________________________ Room Number _____________

DISCIPLINE FILING SYSTEM

Here's a system of recording information on every child sent to the principal's office for misbehavior that is a great improvement over the old system of filing information on cards. It is less time consuming, provides more information, and is more manageable. First, the point needs to be made that it is very important to keep accurate anecdotal records of every child in the building who has a serious behavior problem. What you do with the information will depend upon the circumstances and your own prerogative, but there's no question that the time will come when you will need accurate information on individual children that has been collected over an extended period of time. This information may be helpful in preparing for conferences with parents or it may be necessary in defending yourself either in or out of court. Don't rely on memory alone! It will fail you in more ways than one! The second reality regarding record keeping is that like so many other things it is very time consuming. One of the depressing and tiring things to me about the old card system happened every time several children were involved in the same incident. If done properly the same information had to be recorded three or four times so it could be filed on each child's card. I finally got smart and came up with a system where the information is recorded only once, but yet it can be cross referenced with the name and room number of every child involved in the incident. It is still time consuming but it reduced my writing by at least 50%. Here's how the system works 1. First, you need a loose-leaf notebook with several sheets of notebook paper. This can be called your Discipline File Notebook. The lined paper worked best for me. 2. In front of the notebook place classroom lists containing names of children for every class in your building, one sheet for each class. Of course, the Room number and name of the teacher should be recorded at the top of each list. The lists also will be prepared with a three-hole punch so they can be inserted into you Discipline File Notebook. 3. How do you record anecdotal records of discipline problems in your notebook? This is very simple. On the first sheet of notebook paper put a (1) on the left side of the first line indicating that this is your first discipline case of the current school year. After the (1) write the current date. After the date write the names and room numbers of all children involved in the discipline problem. Finally, write out your description of the problem in behavior terms and the action was taken. That's it, and you need to record the information only once. As additional discipline problems are sent to the office, they will be recorded in your discipline notebook in the same manner but each problem will have a different case number; for example, your second case will be number (2), then (3), (4), (5), etc. Each case will be numbered in chronological order from the beginning until the end of the school year. You will be amazed at the large number of cases you work with during the course of a school year when they are recorded in this manner. 4. How do you find specific information on individual children when you need it? This is also very simple. When case #1 is recorded, go to the classroom list and place a 1 after the name of each child involved in the problem. You will make this simple cross-reference on every discipline case recorded in your notebook. Place a 2 on the classroom lists after the names of every child involved in your second discipline problem, a 3 after the names of every child involved in your third discipline problem, etc. 5. Now, when you need to find information on an individual child, go to the classroom list where his/her name is recorded. After the name, you may find a series of numbers (like 1,17, etc.) depending on the number of times the child has been involved in a discipline problem. You can then quickly leaf to these case numbers in your notebook to refresh your memory on the specifics of what happened, when it happened, if other students were involved, etc. Additional suggestions that may help 1. If your school district requires a monthly report of names of children involved in corporal punishment, school suspension, etc. you can either circle these case numbers in your discipline notebook or make a special notation in front of the case numbers such as CP or S. Since you have already inserted the date after each case number, at a glance it will be easy to identify the children involved in these kinds of problems during a particular month. 2. If you receive notes from parents related to specific discipline problems these can be stapled to the backside of that particular page in your notebook. For this reason, discipline cases should be recorded only on one side of each notebook page. You also may want to make a note in your description of the problem that a note from parents is attached. 3. I believe it is good sometimes to have children write notes of apology or write out an explanation of what they are going to do to make sure the problem doesn't reoccur and what they feel I should do if the problem does reoccur. The student signs these notes and a copy is stapled to the back of the discipline notebook page. You may then refer to these notes in future discipline session with the student. 4. It is also helpful in disciplining children to record the good deeds they have done in the notebook and let them know that you are doing it. This is especially helpful for students who are striving for improvement. These "good deeds" as well as improper things will be shared with parents during conference times. You will either underline or put a star in front of the case number to identify these positive notations. Don't forget to do the same when you write the case number on the classroom list as well. 5. Another advantage of this discipline filing system is that you can tell by glancing at the classroom teacher's list which children are having a lot of discipline problems and which classrooms are having a lot of problems. This can be helpful in providing extra help and counseling for teacher in these situations.

SUPPORTING DATA -- EVIDENCES OF SUCCESS

The purpose of this chapter is to document or illustrate that the activities shared in Success Secrets really work, that they really do make a difference when launched and implemented on a school wide bases. You probably have noticed that they all revolve around the principle of caring and communicating that you care and I believe this is the primary reason the tools are so powerful. Yes, the greatest observation I can make as a result of using these tools over a period of several years relates to the importance and power of communicating to children that we really care. “We care!” These words are seen everywhere: in the hospital, supermarket, auto dealership, etc. because they are important to us. Even Dear Abby say’s, “I care.” But the words are empty and meaningless without the substance. “Put your money where your mouth is,” is a very applicable statement that fits here. Sometimes we assume that children and parents know that we care, but that is not necessarily true. It may be true that we care, but if they don’t know it or believe it, it doesn’t help as a motivator toward improvement. It is very important that we communicate to all children that we really care, and the only way I know to do so is to keep saying it and showing it over and over in as many ways as possible. I will be brief but here are a few personal illustrations from my career as a school administrator that are kept in my treasure box of memories. They all reveal what the power of caring can do to set children free and enable them to experience happy and successful lives. The first story, however, actually goes way back to a time before my career, to a time when the facts predicted that I would never have a happy and successful life, back to the time when I was a fifth grade kid. Illustration 1 This first illustration on the power of caring is about me and my flunking the fifth grade and what followed afterwards. The way I remember it is that my best friend that year was the strongest kid in the class who was also considered to be a slow learner. I did a lot of his homework for him and he in turn protected me from the other kids. I didn’t think he was going to past and if he didn’t pass I didn’t want to pass either. The teacher didn’t seem to like me very well and somehow she didn’t notice that when all the dumb kids were sent to the chalkboard to work on math problems with a helper that I always finished first and didn’t need a helper. I admit that my friend and I didn’t like school very well and we both got a lot of F’s on our report card but the shocker is that I flunked and if I remember correctly he passed. Now here’s what followed afterwards! My family moved and I ended up in a different school the following year without my friend’s protection. I was on my own and I was a pretty tiny kid. But Miss Reece, the teacher in my new school seemed to like me. She laughed when I said funny things and I especially remember her holding up a picture I had drawn and telling the whole class why she liked it. That year I believe I got all A’s & B’s on my report card and every year after that – all through grade school, high school, college, and grad school. Oh, the power of a caring teacher! Thank you Miss Reece! Illustration 2 My first assignment as an elementary principal was in a large inner-city school which was considered to be a very difficult assignment. The previous principal had a difficult time and another person had been assigned as principal of the school, but he refused to take the job. As the new principal of this school I was determined to give it my best shot, and if I could do no more, I would at least communicate to children, teachers, and parents that I really cared. That was my game plan and I began to create the tools to make it work. The plan did work and I learned a great success secret on the power of caring early in my career. The degree of community pride and support that developed against great odds during my five years in this my first assignment is still hard to believe. I could share many miracle stories but please consider this one fabulous illustration. One of our teachers just happened to be in a certain supermarket over the weekend to purchase some groceries. One of our parents just happened to be in the same store. They both just happened to get into the same check-out line, but did not recognize each other. The parent was in front and was overheard by our teacher saying to the cashier, “Well, I have learned that there is at least one school in Columbus that really cares about kids, and that is _______________ School.” It was our school she was talking about. Talk about winning the lottery! Wow! Illustration 3 I recall another building assignment that began on shaky ground. The year before there had been adverse TV coverage about the school, a big rift between PTA officers and teachers, etc. During my fifth and last year at this school, an elderly gentleman who regularly picked up his granddaughter came up to me and said words to this effect, “I’ve lived in this community for a long time, my children went here and now my grandchildren, and this is the first time that I can ever remember that nobody has anything bad to say about this school, and all your teachers are good!” Now, it was the same school with same teachers and many of the PTA Officers were even the same as they had been five years earlier. What made the difference? The big difference was that the majority of our staff bought into the principle of caring and communicating it via the activities shared in Success Secrets. I want to emphasize that this kind of success can only happen when a large majority of the staff and the principal buy into a good plan, and work together as a team to implement the plan. The principal can accomplish very little without the support and cooperation of teachers, and teachers can accomplish so much more with the support and encouragement of the principal. It must be teamwork all the way! Illustration 4 This success story was briefly mentioned in an earlier chapter and is repeated here to document the fact that severe negative attitudes and behaviors can be changed into positive attitudes and behaviors when an all-out, intensive effort is made to do so, involving the major people in a child’s life. Most of the components in Success Secrets inspire and encourage the combined involvement of children, teachers, and parents and that’s what makes them so special. A very super teacher, named Debbie Glenn, shared with me a before and after story of a special needs child in her class. When enrolled early in the year this child was much larger than the other children, very unsure of herself, surly, had been questioned as being mentally retarded in her other school, very unhappy, lacked self confidence, had been in 21 foster homes, and was an abused child. By the end of the year Mrs. Glenn shared that the child was now popular with the class, very confident, laughs all the time, was learning to give and receive affection, was well cared for at home, helpful and cooperative in class, and got mostly A’s & B’s on her report card. Wow, what a change! No doubt the major change was that this child was adopted by a loving and caring family, but being in Mrs. Glenn’s class and receiving a lot of structure and security was also a big factor in this child’s restoration. Illustration 5 To consistently communicate that we really care, by saying it and showing it, is a very powerful way to manage and influence behavior. David, a first grader, was probably one of our most difficult discipline problems early in the year. Some playground equipment had been added to the playground and I went to each classroom talking about safety, etc. Before leaving, I usually asked if anyone knew why the teachers and I ordered the playground equipment for them, with the answer being, “Because we care about you, that’s why!” (Saying it and showing it go together.) In David’s class I made a positive comment about him saying, “I saw David holding out his hands helping another child onto the tunnel. That shows that he cares about others.” The next day David drew a picture and asked his teacher if he could show it to Mr. Winner. He was sitting in the hall by the office with a note as he often had done and I left him sit there for quite a while as I often had done. But this time instead of something bad the note said, “David wants to show you his picture.” I didn’t see a picture and when I asked him if he wanted to get it, he said it was in his pocket. It had been folded probably about 5 or 6 times in order to fit into his pocket. When I asked David to tell me about his picture, he said, “This is the school, this is the sun, this is the playground, etc. There were also some letters on the picture, something like (ILW). When I asked David what the letters meant, he pointed at the letters one by one and read “I love Mr. Winner.” Wow, what a transformation! I know that many of you have had similar responses from children many times which all confirm that they do respond when the communication gets through that we really care. And it's important to know that there’s always an inward response in most children even when we don’t see it outwardly. Illustration 6 During the first two or three months of a new school year our staff usually makes an all out effort to help children learn and live by our school motto, creed, and pledge. In the midst of this training I received a phone call one day from a parent who had been standing at the bus stop where her child was picked up every day. I can’t remember her exact words but she shared something like this, “Mr. Winner, I can’t believe what’s going on at the bus stop these days. I always stay with my daughter until the bus arrives because I want to make sure she’s safe. In the past there have been a lot of arguments, bad language, and even some fights at the bus stop. But now most of the children are reciting the school, motto, creed, and pledge and some of them are trying to teach it to others. I just can’t believe it. This is wonderful!” Now to all those principals and teachers who know of the problems that often occur at unsupervised bus stops, you’re probably thinking that the above story just cannot be true. But I assure you that it is true and now you know why I just wouldn’t want to run a building without our school motto, creed, and pledge, and many of the other activities shared in Success Secrets. During my career and before retiring, I was principal of four different schools and in every building without exception these tools became my secret for success. Illustration 7 This is a very sad story and I don’t like to share sad stories but I believe it illustrates the fact that the greatest need in the life of any child is to know that somebody important in their life really loves them. I recall a 4th or 5th grader in one of my schools who took a bottle of pills and almost lost her life. When she came back to school a couple weeks later she said to me, “You probably want to know why I did what I did.” I told her she could tell me if she wanted to and she responded, “I had to do it to find out if my parent’s really loved me.” I’m sure that her parents, if asked, would say that they loved their daughter, but somehow the communication did not get through as far as their daughter was concerned. These times of anxiety and confusion often overtake children, though their outward actions may not say it or show it in such an extreme way as in the case I have cited. The bottom line is this: It is very important for every child to be able to consistently read the message loud and clear, “I care, I love you” from the important people in their lives. In fact, it is so important that they can never be happy or successful without it. Illustration 8 At a PTA meeting, I was wearing a badge which read, “(Name of School) the school that cares.” Every child had received one of these badges to wear home on the first day of school. One of our parents at the meeting walked up to me and kept saying over and over, “I believe it. I believe it. I really believe it.” I had no idea what she was talking about and when I asked what she believed she responded, “I really believe that this school cares!” Of course this parent’s words gave me a good feeling but more than that they gave me a great sense of pride in our school staff which had worked so hard to implement the first goal in our Blueprint for Success which states, “To really care for boys and girls and to communicate that caring is such clear terms that no one can deny that it is true.” Thank you for indulging the use of so many personal experiences here and in previous chapters. I have shared them because it is the most practical way I can find to illustrate what can happen when a school staff works together as a team to implement the principles and activities shared in this book.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS

This last chapter relates to how all the Success Secrets shared in the book can be tied together in one agreed upon plan of action by principal and staff and help make your school year the best ever. These closing thoughts mainly give a timeline as to when each activity should begin during the school year, how long it should last, how one activity leads to another, etc. This is necessary because children can focus only on one major activity at a time with the intensity that is required for real learning to take place in these activities. I believe that every principal and teacher who reads this book will find something that you want to try right now and I recognize that that may be as far as it goes. You already have activities and plans of action that are working for you and you don’t have room to squeeze any more in. To those in this category I suggest that you try just that one thing that attracted your attention and if it works improve on it and make it work even better the next year. When something really works there are so many good spin-off blessings and benefits enjoyed and experienced by all -- including children, staff, and parents. Keep track of them and someday you will write your own book. For those who want to try many of the tools for success shared in this book and to learn how everything fits together I make the following suggestions: 1.The first step is planning and deciding what you are going to do. Many of the success secrets are building wide in scope and therefore a large majority of the staff must be in agreement with the principal that this is what they want to do. I know that some of you are thinking that this is going to be a roadblock. How can I get the majority of my staff to be in agreement on anything? The answer is simple. Try to do as good a selling job as possible on the plans of action you want to initiate and then put the items up to a vote one by one, letting your staff know ahead of time that it will take a 2/3 majority vote to put the proposed plan into action. Make sure the voting is done by secret ballot so you will collect the true feelings of your staff on each item and I’d actually share that they shouldn’t vote for an item unless they felt it was worth a try to improve their classroom and/or school situation. If you don’t get a 2/3 majority vote on some of the items drop the idea for now and don’t worry about it. I’ve had a lot of good ideas voted down, I think because the staff felt too overwhelmed, but quite often I was able to reintroduce the idea another year and it was accepted. Your staff will appreciate the fact that you are seeking their input on a matter and not just dumping another job upon them. 2. If you choose to use the Blueprint for Success, it should be the first item shared with your staff, perhaps in meetings even before the school year begins. It will be voted in (a secret ballot is not necessary) because it is just an agreement and requires no extra work on the part of the staff. This will give you a good PR tool to share in your school community early in the school year. Of course, the principal’s job will be to challenge everyone to live up to the agreement throughout the school year. 3. As far as children are concerned, the School Motto, Creed, and Pledge should be introduced to them on the first day of school. It is so important and vital for the success of this activity that children recite after their teacher or another leader, the words in this document every morning during opening exercises. They also should be informed that the principal is giving a prize to every child in the school who memorizes the Motto, Creed, and Pledge. This activity should continue for the first 2-3 months of the school year. 4. After 2-3 months into the school year children should begin reciting Positive Person Messages in the classroom during opening exercises each day rather than the Motto, Creed, and Pledge. This activity will continue for the remainder of the school year with a new positive person message introduced every two weeks. The School Motto, Creed, and Pledge, however, should be reviewed once every two weeks and I recommend doing this just before starting a new positive person message. 5. The Self Control Techniques can begin at any time during the school year but if you can hold off I think it best to wait until the School Motto, Creed, and Pledge and many of the Positive Person Messages have been memorized by a large number of children. However, if you are starting to have big problems with name calling, hurt feelings, fights, etc. then that’s the time to begin. If you have a peaceful school atmosphere with none of these problems this is one of the Success Secrets to bypass until it is needed. Once these techniques are introduced, the classroom recitations of the motto, creed, & pledge or the positive person messages should be put on hold for 2-3 weeks and replaced with recitations of the 4 steps to take for name calling and hitting. 6. Most of the other Success Secrets can be used right along with the daily classroom recitations of the Motto, Creed, & Pledge or the Positive Person Messages each morning. The Mentors for Children Program, Honor Assemblies, Tough Love Approach to Discipline, etc. will all mix in or blend with the recitation activities and make them more meaningful. The Old Fashioned Spelling Bee should take place sometime during the second half of the school year and the Good Ending Program should be put into action during the last 3-4 weeks of the school year. 7. To teachers in a building where the principal and other staff members have opted not to try any of the tools for success found in this book, I challenge you to go it on your own. Building wide activities are great but all of these activities work equally well in individual classrooms. And who knows, you just might ignite a spark that will eventually take in most of your building. When you prove that something really works I assure you that others will want to be a part of it. 8. Now, as a final word let me encourage you to be consistent but also patient as you try to implement some of the ideas, concepts, and activities found in this book. There will be disappointments and some very bad days when it seems that nothing is working, but hang in there. It will take time but the plan will work if you will work the plan. And your tools for success will get the job done if you will use them. I know because they worked for me! Of course you will have to make adaptations and adjustments on a regular basis as I did, but you can do it! Go for it! The pay-off will be worth it! Perhaps the following poem will help the next time you’re having a difficult day: IT COULDN’T BE DONE --- By Edgar A. Guest Somebody said that it couldn't be done But he with a chuckle replied, That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one Who wouldn’t say so till he'd tried; So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin On his face. If he worried, he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it! Somebody scoffed, "Oh, you'll never do that; At least no one ever has done it:" But he took off his coat and he took off his hat And the first thing we knew he'd begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, Without any doubting or quiddit, He started to sign as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it! There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done, There are thousands to prophesy failure; There are thousands to point out to you one by one, The dangers that wait to assail you; But just buckle in with a bit of a grin Just take off your coat and go to it; ust start in to sing as you tackle the thing That "cannot be done," and you'll do it!

Note:
All Success Secrets may be used without charge within your building but not for sale or profit. I sincerely hope they will be a help to you as they were to me.

If they are helpful and if you choose to make a contribution to the Help Mitch Fund it will sincerely be appreciated. Because you and others care, Mitch and others will be blessed.

Feel free to email us with any questions, comments, or to confirm your gift: elmer@Hefirstlovedus.com